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Originally Posted by Green.Heals
Hello, I am not certain if this is due to the mercury retrograde, even though it ended on Nov. 19 2019.
Everything I do, tells me I don't exist, or stops me entirely from having access, even for things I've just paid for, and although I keep trying to re-right it, wall after wall after wall.
I had something similar happen one other time, where I felt my guides/angels were stopping me from a union, and I was too stubborn to stop it, and well it ended, tragically.
Maybe someone can help me through PM Please? I'm not good at not writing novels.
Spirit told me it was supposed to happen, and I had amazing things line up so that it could, even though I tried a couple other routes. Those routes have all for the most part been more walls. Again by Spirit I was told another path was a good path, even though I hit more walls. Than I was receiving 1010 & 1111's again right around the time my cousin came back to say, this other career path is going to happen for you. That career path will enable me to look after my other path to self employment, and look after my health without having so much loss & struggle, and get my foundations back. I have wanted this career path for 7 years, and early this year, I started making it happen.
Computers, phone, vehicle, accounts, payments, everything, anytime, I try to do something, even towards my self employment, and even towards this career path with my family, is just wall after wall after wall. I even tried to set up with another counsellor, and than my vehicle died, so I cancelled with them.
When I turn on my computer and go online - I'm blocked.
When I try to get jobs set up here, I am blocked. 3 came, but I was concerned about my vehicle as I knew it was coming to an end, and my dad said he would fix it.
It died yesterday, and ironically although I spoke to dad earlier in the week he said he wouldn't be home until another two weeks. I think he decided to come home early to fix my vehicle in case I got called to this career path with my family. I called him to tell him I was leaving the vehicle at his place, and he was just boarding a plane. I don't know when he was supposed to be home. He was in the States, coming back to Canada, it can't take that long. I told him I left the truck locked, because at first the truck wasn't locking and I thought I'd had to stay with it. I have not heard back from him. He's not an unorganized man. Unless he is just ignoring me, but I have no way of going back out to his home, to check if he's home which is in the country - that was my only vehicle. I've looked up plane crashes, I don't see any. I don't have any of his friends phone numbers.
When I try to get into Amazon, it goes right to an old account, which the name is given, I don't have access to put a new name in, I can screen shot it and everything. Than I go into my account, and I took another screen shot, and it says Amazon.ca, they can even see that I was just on that website as I was speaking to a rep on my phone. He kept telling me that that name was incorrect.
I was given to a super, and we're working on fixing everything.
I have the energy the mindset the will, to fix these issue's if I can. But I've NEVER had so many difficulties EVERY SINGLE DAY WITH EVERY SINGLE TASK, for a number of weeks. It is so bad, that yesterday I didn't want to leave my home. Generally, when I have big days, or days like that, I have a rest day. Yesterday I needed to adult, and get something done - the string of events that is never ending, I will have to stop because it is just overwhelming.
It makes me think maybe I'm not supposed to be doing these things, having these things, am I not aligned to my true purpose, because spirit has been saying keep going on those two tasks, but than why does it keep getting stopped? Is this just to see what I'm made out of?????? !!!!
I've had a lot of bad things happen this year, and than some really amazing things happen, and I did one bad thing, and this vehicle I purchased after I knew would quit or have some serious issue's - it has MAJOR issue's that my dad thinks he can correct - I've paid that debt and that karma I thought. Unless I am just not allowed to have that vehicle, which will mean no not for profit self employment business, and No going to the North to work with my family so that I can right my mental health, and have strong foundation, and afford basic living needs and continue to align.
Another example, I was supposed to meet a friend at a cafe, and they never showed, than I messaged them, they were safe, and they just forgot and we were going to get together the next day.
I do about 3-5 tasks/errands/day
A couple of things I have been told multiple times this month is to meditate, and rest. Ive had lots of rest, and no meditation. I guess I'll do that.
I'll try to complete ONE MORE TASK AT HOME because I applied somewhere and said I was certified, I'm almost done.
Than I will stay at home & do *%&^ all, and hibernate. I guess I am not supposed to even try to "be" right now. Cuz it ain't happening. I hope it gets better.
Cuz I am trying my heart out here.
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