TXGem, so sorry for your troubles.
IMO...many don't want a feminine woman if it means she has standards.
Many don't want any sort of religious beliefs -- or non-religious beliefs, either -- if it means she has standards.
Many see getting to know the other person, or simply investing in friendship or companionship with a woman, as 1) tedious and 2) a waste of time if 3) there is no casual sex involved from early on.
That is, your primary obstacle to real companionship with men and to being valued as a person in your friendships &/or partnerships (either one) is being female in an age where your primary value is as a ready sexual outlet.
It's not you, it's the culture and the majority who ascribe to the mainstream cultural paradigm. Being feminine if not also overtly sexual is seen as tedious because you're not just putting it out there. Being courteous and kind is seen as uppity because you're expecting to be treated like someone who is worth getting to know.
Rather than putting it out there from the get go and making it clear that you are relating to men based on your sexuality. From this position, you are saying it's ok to use and be used and you expect no special treatment or basic consideration for your humanity. And that you "get the rules of the game" and have no expectations of anything. You are nothing special and what you offer is first and foremost for their convenience and gratification.
Who do you think you are? Expecting conversations and time spent in one another's company, "as if" you deserve to be treated like a beloved child of the Father?
As if you deserve to be treated with the same level of honour and regard as any human being should be...i.e., as if you are a potential friend or a potential family member?
Because if you were a beloved friend or family member, you are someone whom these men would never use and whose company they truly value and enjoy. And as a human being, this is the level of regard we all deserve.
But your femininity and any personal standards of dignity and honour you may have will definitely work against you. You can address this easily...simply strip yourself of your core beliefs and principles, and discard your dignity and all sense of honour and decency.
Refashion yourself as blatantly sexual, hard, and almost ruthlessly independent
Tart up at all times and be sure every crack and crevice is highlighted or exposed, LOL.
Be up for having sex after a handful of dates with whomever, as a condition for "getting to know you better".
Hahaha... I'm kidding. It's very hard to find anyone decent if you're not willing to put out sex for almost anyone who will go out on more than a couple of dates. Because it's been made "commonplace" that men feel they can demand any and all women satisfy them sexually whilst they given each new lay a road testing in the sack and "see how it all plays out". Especially for women who've not yet had their kids, this is difficult, degrading, exploitative, and very stressful.
Moreover, these just insatiable demands are really cold, impersonal, unappealing and loathesome for most women who have reached any level of spiritual maturity.
Don't be too hard on yourself and don't feel you have to change & compromise the core of who you are. 9 out of 10 times, or more like 98 or 99 times out of 100, the sex would just be sex and they don't ever want more unless you twist yourself into a pretzel to be just so
You do you and let the bulk get off/over on someone else's back.
Peace & blessings
7L