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Hello PeaceLilly, it is my understanding that it can indeed hold them here and hinder their own spiritual progress. They care for us and love us as much on the other side as they did in the physical and it pains them to know we are feeling despair, loss and suffering here caused by their physical death. I feel they would like us to understand that they are perfectly fine where they are but they hang around close to us on this lowly plane because they love us and want to somehow sooth us and take away our suffering.
Some cultures view death as a celebration, a celebration of the life lived here on Earth and of the returning back 'Home'. I believe part of our spiritual growth here on Earth is to view death in that manner - they've gone Home! We ought to be happy for them! We will meet them again some day and in the meanwhile it is okay to miss them and to wish they were still around - that's natural, but to feel as if our lives are destroyed because of their loss isn't constructive for them or us.
I had a reading some years ago by an incredibly gifted medium and he had a message for a friend whose husband had passed (he was so good, he actually gave me both their names) - the husband said I was to tell my friend that she had to stop grieving his death, she had to get on with her life and enjoy it because for as long as she was feeling so much despair over his death, he wouldn't be able to move on.
I'd like to say I am sorry about your loss too. Same thing happening right now in my family.
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