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As inadequate as it is I am very sorry for your loss.
You are taking a great step by just seeing that time has moved on and an even greater step by wanting to find enjoyment. Have you attended grief counseling? I really think it could help, no one could do this alone.
I will never forget a psy class I was in several years ago; we went over the stages of grief and how long a normal mourning period was. We went through various family members and friends. Then we got to the loss of a child, my professor dramatically went to the board and erased everything as she said. "There is NO normal mourning time period for the loss of a child, there is no stages of grief because a parent will forever mourn their child, whether their child was an infant or a 40 year old.
As I'm sure you know, you will never stop mourning and that's ok, you just have to now learn how to live and still find enjoyment in life. You seem like a very strong person and I have faith you can do this.
Olivia
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