[AlwaysDayAfterYesterday]

Originally Posted by Kittycatcacher

I couldn't figure out which thing to post this on. Anyways, up until recently I thought for the first time I knew where life was taking me. I was getting signs everywhere that change was coming my way, and I thought I knew what it was talking about.

A few months ago my mom had talked to me about hiring me to go visit my grandma for a few hours every day when we moved her to a home. I was excited to get my first job and even better it would be with my grandmother, someone I was very close with.

The day we moved her, she passed away. She had been fine when we moved her, we had the help of paramedics and an ambulance so they were monitoring her during the process. But a few hours later after I had left, my mom says she just fell asleep while my mom was talking to a nurse and she passed on.

I'm still obviously getting over losing her, I love her very much. But I'm also getting over a path I was excited to take. I had felt like for once I knew what to do with my life. I just feel sad, lost, and disconnected from the spiritual side of life now and I don't know what to do.

Read up on "Dark night of the soul." You will pass this swing of the pendulum many times in life. It always swings back the other way, bringing you benefit from the experience. All plants die after bearing fruit. From the fruit, new seed. A tree bears fruit, the fruit becomes a forest.

"Q: Have you ever experienced the dark night of the soul? Your teachings have been so helpful through this difficult period. Can you address this subject?

A: The “dark night of the soul” is a term that goes back a long time. Yes, I have also experienced it. It is a term used to describe what one could call a collapse of a perceived meaning in life…an eruption into your life of a deep sense of meaninglessness. The inner state in some cases is very close to what is conventionally called depression. Nothing makes sense anymore, there’s no purpose to anything. Sometimes it’s triggered by some external event, some disaster perhaps, on an external level. The death of someone close to you could trigger it, especially premature death, for example if your child dies. Or you had built up your life, and given it meaning – and the meaning that you had given your life, your activities, your achievements, where you are going, what is considered important, and the meaning that you had given your life for some reason collapses."

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