[ghostinawheelchair]

I wasn't sure where else to post this and I would appreciate christian or christo-pagan's opinions. (Yes, I just made up "christo-pagan".) Also, english is 2nd language (y'all have probably heard this one before), so please be patient and try to look past my typos.

I was baptized (lutheran) as a baby as per my grandmother's wishes, raised as an atheist, and I turned out to be(come) a polytheistic pagan.

As of late I've been feeling the pull into the christian church, but every time I try to "open the bible", so to say, I always stop right after I begin because I find a lot of the written word incredibly disagreeable. That, and maybe it's because of how I was raised, but I just don't understand how people function in the modern world under a religion that to me sounds like "living death before you're actually dead".

That, and I feel like my current beliefs are like a family and a home, and if I had to give that up for the One God of christianity, I'd feel like I'd lost a part of my family.

I know christianity is a monotheistic religion and as such, my "gifts" to my pantheon would probably be considered a big sin and breaking the 1st commandment, should I become a christian. But this thing keeps on going through my head, and I'm just wondering... is there a way to reconcile these differences, be a good christian, but not feel like I have to give up a huge part of my life for a book and one god?

I know, in the end, what I would choose, but before I decide to toss my bible in the trash and pawn my cross necklace, I'd like to hear other people's thoughts on this.

Hugs, blessings & a good day to whomever reads this!