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Hello,
Thank you all for your advice.
I have been meditating more. Trying to be more positive and open.
I have experienced more, in the months since my last post, than in this life thus far.
I believe I am experiencing a spiritual awakening.
I would like to begin to share my experiences in the hope I can better understand them.
I began to research and practice spirituality more, in the months following my original post. I began to experience energy emanating from, and travelling throughout my chakra zones. I describe this as a chime on the zone that emanates outward in a wave light. The zone I visualise as something similar to a gong. I also experience a sensation of goosebumps, hair standing on end and an uplifting energy rising up my spine.
This feeling would also occur during research. Which I describe as seeking truth. In the hope I can glean wisdom therein. When faced with information I knew to be true, the feelings I describe would manifest. As if confirmation of truth.
I also began to seek and be open to the connection I had felt from a young age. It returned, and it did so in a profound and life changing way. I should expand on the feeling first. That I have felt all my life. I often felt a presence and a sense of something trying to communicate and express notions to me. Always as I lay awake at night. Often during these times, I would experience a sense of being lifted. Or that I could leave my body, if I chose. I would become fearful and reject the feeling. Always keeping it at distance before eventually shunning it.
One night after a day spend researching and meditating. I got into bed and began reflecting on the information I had processed that day. I was met with this familiar feeling and presence. This time I was less hesitant, more open minded and more willing to accept what it may have to show or express to me. At first the presence was subtle and similar to how it had been previously. As I focused on it, the energy grew, stronger and closer. I felt overwhelming energy entering me. I felt like my body would erupt in light. Like every chakra zone was erupting with brilliant light. The source of the energy was very eager and excited. I expressed I was willing to continue the connection, but it needed to hold back somewhat. That the energy was very overwhelming. I immediately felt the energy relax and become more manageable.
When the initial rush of energy had relaxed, I could perceive clearer the connection. And the communication. First the energy appealed to my root chakra. I did not understand chakra zones fully at this time. So I was initially not reassured by this almost sensual feeling. My genitals were vibrating and emanating this same energy. I hesitated and the presence expressed and repeated one word: "Trust". As I relaxed, the energy moved to what I know now as the solar plexus or wisdom chakra. The presence felt so familiar. The interaction that of reuniting with an old friend or family member. I thought of words, questions or concepts in my mind and received answer. The information was delivered in an instant; a succinct amalgamation of words imagery and ideas. But received all at once, in an almost packet of thought. Which I would have to unpack and process. If I understood afterwards, I would express that "I understand" and would be met with a strong feeling of happiness and joy from the presence. It would express to me "You are wise" each time. And each time my wisdom chakra would flare like a solar flare leaving the sun. If I did not understand a reply or concept, I would experience a feeling of the presence showing me the answer, with the knowledge within my own mind. So I could fully comprehend. And better understand.
The interaction continued like this, for a time, back and forth. So much information that my waking, conscious mind can no longer adequately recall. After what felt like hours communicating, with what felt like an old friend; it was proposed to me that old notion and feeling; that I could leave my body and be lifted. I trusted the presence and felt lifted. Weightless. I found myself suspended in a dark vacuum. Like space. Though without stars, or anything observable at all. Other than the space. Which was quiet and serene. Completely so. Still and peaceful. Utterly. I remember blissfully continuing the interaction without really questioning where I was. It didn't seem to matter.
After a time, I saw something in the corner of my eye. Off to the side of my perception in this space. Something I feel I was aware off the whole time, though had yet to perceive visually. I remember recognising the energy as that I was interacting with. And thinking "Oh... that's where you was!" the visage seemed almost shy. Hovering on the edges of my perception. Almost reluctant to reveal itself. I say this because I remember trying to focus on what I was perceiving and failing for a time. Like a light that was brighter the less I focused on it. Eventually, I realised the image. Full and magnificent.
I perceived a being of immense blue light. Humanoid and feminine in appearance. Beautiful and ethereal. Emanating love and light in equal yet boundless measure. The being came closer and I felt as though I could barely hold my sense of self together. Like I would explode into light. I remember closing my eyes - though they had been shut the whole time. I perceived clearly a hand of blue light enter my chest and grasp my heart. At this time truly incredible amounts of energy emanated from my heart. Filling the entire black space with brilliant light and incredible energy. The only comparison I can give that seems remotely comparable, is that of a supernova. I remember feeling a mix of complete bliss but also slight doubt. I worried I would die. That my heart would not take the energy. It was conveyed to me one word: Healing.
After a time, I felt the hand and the energy leave my body. And found my perception of self quickly snap back to reality. I was in my bed. Utterly exhausted yet truly blissful. I could feel residual energy still tingling in my heart. My whole body was tingling. Feeling lighter than a feather, I drifted of into a restful sleep.
Thank you for listening. I want to share more. Please offer your insights and understanding. I need to learn. I need to understand. Nothing is the same anymore.
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