yeah, it's habit... bad cycle to be in. My problem was always self hatred though. I never cared about what anyone else thought of me, it was that i was never good enough to me. When i thrived in anorexia, i would compete with myself, i would insult myself, no one else ever said anything bad about me or contributed to it. For 11 years i lived with that habit, and it was hard to break, but if i never did accomplish anything, i wouldn't be able to be eating right now, so i have come far. i can stand to live with myself as i am now. Logically i know it is only fears that make me think i'm gaining weight. I still deal with thought patterns getting in the way at times.

I like your philosophy there, life is meant to be enjoyed, we are supposed to enjoy food. I don't think it matters to be a little chunky as i said before, it can mean you are enjoying life.

I know for me, especially after recovering from anorexia, that being thin is not at all great.

Obsession of food, starving and perfection never got me anywhere, just turned into more hatred, and darkness and led me to lots of physical ailments. I much enjoy adopting a new healthy relationship to food, where i love it, and it is pleasurable.

I like to give thanks and gratitude to my food, before i eat. I am very instinctual from ancient times, thus eating the food like i have hunted for it, helps me greatly. It makes me ponder at society, at how easy and unhealthy it is to have food easily obtained, so people forget to be thankful for it.