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Originally Posted by django
Thanks for this great story necro, no wonder you are a Shaivite.
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You are very welcome. Yes, it was almost destined to be this way...in a way.
I have had these experiences of Shiva all my life, up to the point of about 20 years ago, when I became disillusioned with mainstream Hinduism and the corruption of the old ways...and so I left it...forgot about it for 15 years.
Then 5 years ago, one day in December, I was looking up something about Heavy Metal music, on Youtube, when there was a 'recommendation for you'...it was a hymn to Bhairava Shiva called "Kalabhairavastakam"...now, I wasn't or had not been looking up anything Hindu related at all...I hadn't for years and I had used youtube a lot since then.
I thought I
knew all of the Ashtakams and Shatakams by Shankaracharya...word perfect in fact...but this one, I had not heard before.
So I played it out of curiosity and it was the most sublime hymn I had ever heard! In my life!
Then I wondered why Shiva was showing me this and I got the message to 'check date significance'...it was December 12...it was Kalashtami - appearance day of Shiva Bhairava.
I was shocked! what a coincidence! what significance!
Yeah, so I understood Shiva was behind this...after so long, contact was made again...and He didn't disappoint. I heard that voice again; "I am still here waiting my love, tell me what you'd like me to do?"
I said "stop playing games! stop being the disembodied voice or the aloof snake-guy...show me your cosmic, Bhairava form".
It was like "okay then, whatever you wish" after which I became fully engulfed in light...falling to the floor and babbling like a baby....then everything became dark and I saw this huge abyss...I slipped into Shiva bliss again, but only for a brief moment" after that I heard the words "you may have left Hinduism, but I never left you".
I got straight back into fully worshiping Shiva after that.