[Xan]

Sitting With Death (excerpts)

I was a very depressed person. I was not happy with my work, my girlfriend, or any other circumstances. I spent a lot of time smoking pot and drinking.

After not sleeping for 24 hours my mind began to repeat suicidal thoughts. I found my way to a local drug store and bought a family package of Benadryl, 65 tablets or so. I popped them all out of the package and proceeded to down as much as I could. I followed it with a little liquor, stayed on my sofa and thought I would just fall asleep forever. Strangely enough I can remember that moment vividly to this day.

At some point during my hallucinations I sat on my sofa and felt like I fell asleep. I woke up looking into the distance at my wall. At this point I no longer felt that I was sleeping or alive or really awake. I was mostly confused, but I still knew I was in my apartment. From the wall I saw what looked like a black dot coming toward me. It got close very fast and became more clearly defined. As I looked closer, it had skin that was grey/white, like ash skin. It had clothing that looked like a robe that was pitch black and seemed to be deep as nothing. The feeling of nothing is also how I felt looking at this being. As I saw its face it was elongated and sunken in with some features of a skeletal face still with the same ash-like skin.

At first when I realized I was in the presence of a creature--death if you will--I was horrified, excited, sad and happy all at once. Then as quickly as the gamut of emotions, I felt completely at ease and emotionless. Then I was able to see myself sitting with Death.

I saw myself in a bubble-like thing quite impossible for me to really describe. The closest description I can think of may be like my auric bubble that was somewhat yellow. Death began to communicate with me telepathically and our conversation was instantaneous. To this day, I cannot remember what was said. I began to float upward and felt I was leaving my body. Death reached out an elongated skinny finger, not bone-like but just skinny. I sunk back into my body. I can remember Death shaking his head like saying 'no'. I still felt completely at ease while I began to fall asleep again.

As more years pass I have become Atheistic, but with the idea that what may lie beyond goes past our descriptions or definitions. Thus I am an Atheist to the beliefs of religion. The experience of death and the realistic feeling I had of it has taught me there are certainly things we know nothing about, yet one day we will. My NDE made me a better person as I grew beyond suicidal tendencies and began to concentrate on those around me more. I hope this proves helpful to readers.


http://iands.org/experiences/nde-accounts/675-sitting-with-death.html

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