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@psychegirl, sp and angel44, thankyou. You all make good points. After reading your comments this morning the first thing that popped into my head was "do I want more days like Monday, or more days like Tuesday? I am in control of that". I definitely want more days like Monday :)
@psychegirl I will keep the infection idea in mind - it makes a lot of sense to me
@sp I need to do more meditation and healing of myself for myself. I tend to use meditation to feel close to R at the moment, as it feels so good. I have also read in a lot places that if you heal yourself it helps to heal your tf at the same time - I have been caught up in a very co-dependent role with him, as he is very unwell mentally, has addiction issues and has a lot of healing to do. I am trying to deconstruct my codependency issues at the moment and change, so your advice really resonated with me. I need to heal for me, not us and our possible future. I have a cord cutting and crystal healing session booked for Friday - hopefully that can be the start of looking after me first, not him.
@angel I am glad you are in a good place. I hope I am sometime, and can look back on this soul connection as a positive thing that taught me a lot, whether we reconcile or not.
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