Quote:
|
Originally Posted by l o t u s
I have been thinking very much of spirits (human or otherwise) possessing living things to either influence, or to enjoy the pleasures of the physical world through said living things. I believe I may or may not be under the influence of such a possession. Today, talking to my father, I learned that if I am being 'haunted', it must be his father. I am adopted, so I am not connected by blood to this man who departed the physical world before I was even born.
In life, this man was an alcoholic. My father described to me the sort of drunk he was; not angry, but sad. He would cry listening to music. I have been suffering 'alcoholism' for almost three years, brooding over a ridiculous relationship that ended as fast as it began. Before I was in this relationship, I was merely abusing the drink, but I was a full-blown alcoholic by July 2013 (relationship ended May 15 same year). The point is that I am the same type of alcoholic as he was - depressed, not violent. I even cry listening to music when I drink like he did. Before my ex-boyfriend, I enjoyed my alcohol. I was a hilarious drunk. Not anymore.
Anyways, I have known for a long time I am nothing like myself, yet I do hold onto fragments of my former self. Mostly, I come across as saturnine and mercurial these days; whereas, in the past, I have been known as quite jovial, full of life and love. Extremely giving. I have gone so far as to steal from my loved ones these past years, and lie to them. I once held so close to my heart the importance of honesty. I am two people in one body, it seems. Maybe my father's father took advantage of my weakened state to enter my life and continue enjoying the drink through me? I don't know. I'm merely looking into Possession - how and why. I thought I would start here.
Please any feedback is greatly appreciated, especially if you are able to tell me how I can know for sure if this is a case of possession. I truly want to stop drinking and I expect it to be so easy because this pattern is absurd and unjustifiable. Then I enter a very dark mood, turning into an utter monster; I say and do things I never thought I could possibly say or do. I speak to things that are not there and I call them evil names like Devil or Darkness (being soft). I am beginning to enjoy it. Oh god, help me... This is not me.
|
. When you drink, you are like an open vacuum, you are taking in a lot more negative energy than what you think you are, plus you are poisoning your body & dehydrating yourself.
(Sorry I am being bombarded by people right now so I was totally thrown off) I think even before you started really abusing alcohol, there might have been some identity issues going on...maybe on a subconscious level. You said yourself, that it was over a ridiculous relationship that wasnt even long term...whatever triggered that feeling, really spun you around. I dont think he is possessing you...as much as I think you are identifying yourself with him. I agree with Tobi, you need a good counselor to help you sort through everything, you also need to realize that you were abusing alcohol before this relationship started...and it doesnt matter if you were a happy drunk or a sad drunk....most all alcoholics start out as happy drunks or else it wouldnt be so tempting...prolong use always turns out the same...into sad drunks. You are not thinking straight if you have been abusing alcohol this long...there are issues that you need to face head on about yourself & your life. You need to find out who you are, what you are, & anything else you need answers to, to put you into a place of peace with your life.