[lostsoul13]

I’ve really paid for indulging- so much so it saw me go to prison..

But there is so much I like and desire, 4k computer for gaming, ps5, Xbox - stuff for streaming and blogging- it all adds up. Apartments cost 5-10grand+

Lucky the last two years I lived in a hostel for people with mental health but I had a meeting yesterday and they are looking to move me on..

Some where where I don’t relapse.. floating support…

So life is really looking after me apart from the voices and hallucinations lol

But I figured I’m creative???

Some how that’s life attracting to me… push me to my limits?? I think I’m cursed but some how I still manage to get 5k a month, it really helps but the business isn’t consistent but somehow it has been the last two years by the time I spend 200 on take outs 2500 on shopping online 400 on cigarettes and coffees another 100 a month my phone bills, insurance etc if I go out any where - I’ve saved up quite a lot the last two years because I haven’t been paying rent(the section I was under in hospital gives me free housing and care etc) so I saved up at least 60grand the last two years.. maybe life is giving me these situations so I can do my desires- like a deposit for a house$$$$$$

I’ve still got free housing and care and opportunities with this section in place I came here straight from the hospital but it’s the best thing that happened to me, prison and getting arrested constantly I just deteriorated??

But there are silver linings- && life gave me my family it made my wishes come true!!!

Gotta be some meaning to it all!!!