[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by linen53

Having to redefine myself took a whole lifetime. Resetting standards I felt comfortable with rather than what I was taught. I didn't do it consciously, It was a biproduct of living and learning. Kind of like a rubber band that is stretched out. Eventually it will snap back to it's natural form once released.

Yes, so true. But I bet some of then you did unconsciously or consciously from very early on, too...like thinking, "I'm not going to do [those things my stepmum is doing]" and so forth. I remember thinking that about many of the things my dad and mum said and did. Lessons in what not to do or say to others, LOL. And pretty clear ones too.

Though learning to truly value yourself and set emotional and/or physical boundaries and say no does take many years, for certain. Particularly when not learnt young. For me I had an innate instinct about physical boundaries (though many do not, we are failing them, and that is tragic), but setting emotional boundaries is something you learn with experience, it seems.

My stepmother has been on my mind a lot lately. I think how her and I mixed about as well as oil and water. Her ying was my yang and visa versa, lol. And though she isn't my favorite person, I owe her so much. In an underhanded sort of way she is the reason I was able to redefine myself many years later to the person I am today.

Yes...my folks taught me on the ground from day 1 about the lifetime process of forgiveness and reconciliation. It requires a heart of blood and steel to endure this. To continually forgive and find the love, and to constantly steer and redirect to reconciliation. My mum appreciates it and my dad is beginning to do so, I think. That's seen as gravy really...because we all know you may never get that. But let's be brutally honest...the gravy is what deeply heals us. The gravy is reconciliation and a truly mutual authentic love for one.

The gravy is the foundation, and if they've blown you off this go round then next time round you may give them a loving wave in passing and be on your way...perhaps you can let them just pay it forward and you can choose not to have to deal with them too much. That sort of thought is what keeps me going when I think about having to deal with folks in other lives who have been particularly cruel or unkind...the thought that next go round, perhaps we don't have to even go there. We can leave it as a kind word in passing ;)

Now what sux is when they are your close soul fam and they are unkind...do you really have to keep signing on to cross paths when they are just not willing to treat you well in lifetime after lifetime, or if they cannot forgive and let go? What a drag IMO...having got a lot of my memories back about other lives, I actually feel a fair amount of dread at the thought of having to deal with certain folks again in future when things haven't really been left at a good place in this lifetime.
If they were not close soul fam, you'd just leave it and not worry. But unfortunately now I know (that is, I can remember) it comes back again and again when your souls are close. This is like a ball of toxic stuff that you have to fix up and mend and transform and then eat, and if you don't it just comes back around in the future. When there are loads of roadblocks and/or perhaps some underlying hostility or resentment, so very little of what we earnestly put forward can be seen for what it is, I think. And then of course you cannot be seen as you really are, either.

My feeling is, oh for God's sake, at this point if they can't step up to a place of lovingkindness and reconciliation, then can't they go "learn" on others how to be decent, how to give and receive love and forgiveness, and how to let go of hostility and resentment, LOL? Well, if we must sign on to cross paths again and again with some folks, perhaps we can just keep it very brief and offer kindness in passing I just know I need an effing break for a while from some, unless folks finally get it together, LOL. I know I told Michael I wouldn't request it officially, but I'll be damned certain to keep my distance in all other lifetimes unless and until they have come to a better place, hahaha!

I'm not surprised your soul family is advanced. You are, thus your soul family would be as well. I don't have any communication (on a conscious level) with my soul family so I can't determine exactly where we are in our spiritual evolution as a group. I've also read somewhere that often one of the group will come and incarnate and the rest of the group will learn from their experience. If that is true, that would be me.

I just don't get the greed thing. Or power thing.

Very kind of you. I would say the same of you...and it takes a lot of that Viking strength to get on with things without close soul friends on your path from time to time. What I see for myself is that women are great soul friends but that many of the men are badly damaged at present. Many of men in my soul fam cannot give much in the way of authentic love or support as people to others in this current incarnation. Many of the men have it a lot harder right now underneath the surface, because they are having to remember how to treat women according to what they know is right and directly against what society has told them is "ok" for the entire duration of their current lifetimes.

This has been hard because they too were expecting the women in their lives to readily and naturally love them authentically when they offered their bodies (usually, however, it's just the opposite in those cases and sex without love is just that). In some cases, their mothers may have also used sex to essentially barter for things or as their main M.O. throughout their lives, and that really screws with a man's perception of women. To the point that some have a lot of trouble seeing the basic humanity of women in general, beyond sex or utility. They have trouble valuing a woman equally to a man in her character and honour and purity of heart, and yet at some level they clearly know it's wrong and that it's misaligned with who they are as souls. They fully realise they've frequently treated some women in very mean and low ways purely due to their own biases. When I saw some women, I mean those women who approaches a man as if they are his equal in mind and heart and spirit...because they are.

Many of the men in my soul group are still working through that in some way...where they stumble is the fact that our entire society is built on lies, oppression, and exploitation and that almost none of the overlay is right and good, except for the love and support we give one another. I'm not sure why they're having so much trouble with this, but they are. They expected the good to have arrived by now, and they still can't quite accept the meanness and degradation they have experienced even in their intimate relationships, i.e., that most of them also have not ever been authentically loved by a sex partner or a relationship partner (and nor have most men cultivated authentic love in friendship with a woman who is not family). But the fact remains this is so, and they still have to take part in bringing the good into being.

I think most men in my soul group thought that they would be involved in "more important" spiritual and worldly tasks, and what they don't realise is that they are already involved in those tasks. If fact, they signed on to be involved in the "most important" spiritual work of the age. And so now here they are.

They are struggling to realise and accept that the manifestation of authentic love on the ground in our own lives and the lives of those we touch IS actually the primary work of our existence AND also the "most important" spiritual work of our age, right here and right now.

Well, I wouldn't say I flourished as the Greek Orthodox Priest. I was frustrated and bitter. It has bled over into this life in I don't like anyone blocking my path, both physically or emotionally. And I realize where the roots of that began and recognize it.

Yes, I can see the connection. The life as a Nordic warrior was the apex of my incarnations. All fun and games up to that point; just the thrill of being alive. But from then on, it's been, "roll up the sleeves and lets get to work" learning.

I totally get this. I can feel the resistance I have to submitting to the grinding oppression of the patriarchy and the hierarchy. It nearly crushed the life out of me last go round as the marginalised small woman.

I get a physical thrill, like a rush of goosebumps when I think of the power I held as a Viking warrior. It was a rush! Back to reality, for me there are perks for being male, and perks for being female. Who says we have to choose?

I agree. We don't have to make a choice. In fact, I don't see how we can fully realise ourselves without doing a lot of hopping around. What would be nice (for me) would be, to be able to have a woman's life without the grinding oppression and exploitation, and in a place of peace and affirmation, where my humanity is equally valued and honoured. And as a man, to live peacefully, where women are equally valued and where men are free to also be fully human, to feel and emote and communicate freely...and to engage with one another without violence and endless sword-fighting and betrayal.

You know, hearing how r6 has defined the genetic makeup (or at least a tiny portion of it) it makes the gene theme even more authentic. Something, I for one, don't often take into account. That's why I started this thread. To give due to our genes.

Yep, bumps and bruises included, we've learned well. I'm a bit thick-headed so I may have a few more than you.

The gene theme definitely has something to it. It's just fascinating to me to see the interplay of spirit and physicality. Such as how you no doubt have some of those Nordic warrior essence genes in your "spiritual" makeup, which can probably now be measured as some of your "genetic" character tendencies. Now just how does that happen, hahaha? Particularly lifetime after lifetime? That's the kind of thing that really underscores just how complex and intricate this all is.

Peace & blessings
7L