long story:
if i recall correctly, i'd chosen that image as an avatar because i like the idea
that Jimmy Stewart personified as being an "everyman", and i'd wanted to
portray myself in that manner. i also like that the snapshot was taken from
It's a Wonderful Life (1946), where the character travels through a
"dark night of the soul" [as mentioned in your bio], but comes to realize
that the true values in life aren't measured according to 'worldly standards'.
it was sometime later that i recognized that the picture was from a particular
moment in the film... the freeze-frame used by angelic observers who were
reviewing his life, and deciding how to provide him guidance. in that frozen
moment he was describing the suitcase he'd need in order to travel the
world and embark on a multitude of adventures... which he never got around
to doing because of the responsibilities he was saddled with. it's a situation
which 'resonates' to my own, since i also have an innate desire to travel
widely and embark on adventures (it's a sagittarian trait to be a wanderer),
but 'circumstances' have seemingly rendered that an improbability.
when i was thinking on your situation,
Soul Renew, it occurred to me that
this current life of yours is almost certainly not the first you've experienced.
it seems implausible that timidity could have inspired your spirit to seek out
physical incarnation as a means to express itself freely and fearlessly. i'm
reasonably convinced that this is not your first rodeo. it lead me to wondering
if in an earlier lifetime you'd been confident and strong, and disallowed any
'contrary' thinking to dissuade you from your goals. maybe afterwards, in a
'life review', you'd wondered if perhaps you'd been a bit too "headstrong" in
how you'd lived that life, and considered re-entering physicality with a more
'receptive' frame of reference towards the wills of others... to provide the
symphony of you with a greater range of expression; adding nuance. what i'm
saying is that [perhaps] the greater whole of you has used the lessons of fear
and frailty to bring you further enrichment. i posit that the "real you" exists
beyond a need for fear, in a place that doesn't create threats to itself.
