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That is intersting, I think the best way, at least I learned, handling someone who insists on stepping over rationally set boundaries is to shun them, refuse interaction, hang up the phone, step on their toes (metaphorically or physically), and make sure they never can push you to anger or to do something you know you should not, or something you don't want to.
I have dealt with something like this with my father for 64 years. And because I have always been the one to stand up to him, point out his bad behviour, tell him no, etc. I am the enemy when he talks to everyone else in the family, However, I am the one he calls when he needs something and I am the only one who he has ever apologized to, and that man should spend his last days apologizing 8 hours a day to everyone.
So, what I am dealing with is my anger that as a child I had to learn how not to be bulllied by an adult who was supposed to be the one man I should be able to trust.
On the other hand, I see abusive narcissists coming and can side step so that or what ever so that they do not think about using me.
Yes, everyone on the planet needs to be self protective, and sometimes self serving just to survive. It is the human condition, but when someone cannot even look up beyond their nose and see others have needs, it is called narcisism and it is a diagnosable mental health issue.
Once you determine that being firm but nice does not work, you have to be strong and insistent, whether it feels like you are being mean or not. Loosing your temper will not help, staying rational and strong will. Eveyone is allowed to say No.
That may not have helped, I realized I kind of went in to a rant. Sorry. I hope you do figure out the best way for you to interact with that person.
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