Sometimes we leave so many things behind, we forget where we've come from and tell ourselves that we know where we're going but we've lost something along the way. We carry the baggage but we don't carry what we really need. Like puberty for instance, we go through a major shift and leave our childhood behind but it stays with us like a scared child that won't let go of our coat tails. It tugs at us insistently for attention as we try to forget its existence, yet it's where we've come from and it'll help us to realise where we're going. Innocence lost, gone.

Children have an immense Spirituality of their own but few adults appreciate that, adults fill their heads with ideologies and theologies that children have never been encumbered with. Children play and create their own realities, it's natural for them and resonates with them. They create and share play realities so easily and that ability, that talent becomes lost in the rush to become 'adult'. Adults fill their heads with all sorts but just become burdened, yoked. Adults know but have forgotten much, and have never really known what children know.

Like your feather, for instance. The 'adult' thing might be to ponder about how air currents could have blown it there, but the Child Inside? Perhaps the Child Inside will tell you that it was blown by an angel's kiss, whose message is that you are Loved even with your 'warts and all'. Perhaps it will touch a place in your heart, and that will tell you that you have a heart to touch and that it can be touched. It doesn't matter if angels are fanciful, that innocence has led you to your heart and what you feel there.


It's a great place to be, as though you've 'arrived'.

Have you ever read Don Quixote? It's about a knight errant who goes on a quest but he's quite bonkers. He has an old nag for a horse and a pot for a helmet, and while he's doing it for the Love of his Lady Dulcinea she's cavorting with a lord and having a laugh at him. And windmills become monsters. The fight looks very different when you work out what you're fighting against.

Almost, you're forgetting the very vital ingredient - yourself. It's not what you look at it's what you see in it that counts, that tells you what you need to know. You're resonating with Matt's and Alan Watt's material so what does that tell you? If you weren't at that level of vibration it would sail on over your head. You are the one that's making it all happen, and it's acknowledgement not ego.

Don't forget that this is the third density and that consciousness doesn't have one, it takes time for things to sink in and work their way through. This is a realm of time and these things take time.

When the agitation builds up there's a simple way to shift it. Sit yourself down with your hands in your lap, palms upwards. Now, imagine there's a tap on your stomach just above your hands, and when you turn the tap on all those bad vibes are going to come pouring out into your hands. When you feel you've been emptied of them, slowly raise your hands as though offering it up to the Universe again, where it belongs. Then you can say "I Love you even more now that you're free of those bad vibes, baby."

Feelings are energetic so shifting them energetically - doing something - is often the best way. And visulasations are your best tools, it doesn't matter what they are as long as you choose the strongest one for you. If it helps then visualise yourself as aerodynamic or transparent, I often visualise myself as aerodynamic because that way the wind whistles past and it doesn't stick in the first place. Prevention is better than cure. Often the process can be redirected too, if someone triggers you and you recognise that you can change what's bee triggered. If someone triggers your anger you can redirect that energy towards something more constructive - like giving your mental energy some adrenaline.

Would you give someone a bunch of pills if they didn't need them? Same with Spirit, your healing and your numbers are like 'pills' and you needed them at the time to cure your 'ailment'. People can become attached or even addicted to things and that includes healing and Spirituality itself. Someone once said to me "You get what you need, if you don't got it you don't need it." People become attached or addicted to things that make them feel good, it's simple human nature but there's often something more beyond the attachment - addiction even. This is probably tied in with your being OK - you're OK with the healing energy not being there. Non-attachment and being OK are on a par vibrationally with each other, it's kind of the same thing. It's all a part of you becoming - becoming. It's not a theory or ideology for you, it's who and what you are. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it. Did you react instinctively, was it even a reaction or simply who you are?

"Awakenings are about letting go."

The Universe is a reflection of you and it is lovely when you and the Universe resonate. Like the comments from your colleagues, but also remember that you are infectious.

The label can mean something if you attach a meaning to it - or not. I'm an Old Soul but it doesn't mean that much to me because here I am still, not feeling particularly 'Spiritual Advanced' whatever that means. Someone once said that I came from a very noble Spiritual House. What's one of them? It made as much sense as being Pisces/Aquarius cusp, which meant I didn't particularly fit into either.

Have you read Freud's Allegory of the Alchemist and the Philosopher's Stone? Basically what he's saying is that it's only in the darkness that we can find what he calls the Prima Materia, the basic material from which all other matter can be made - including gold, which was the aim of the alchemist. If you're going to do battle then it makes sense to know your enemy as best you can, any general worth his salt will tell you that. You also need to know your reasons for doing battle. All those are waiting in the darkness. Part of the allegory is that the alchemists were trying to make lead into gold, which is understandable because gold and lead are close enough in the periodic table. In the allegory they didn't understand that what they needed to do is find the Prima Materia and create the gold from the basics building blocks.

I spent quite a few years in the against child abuse arena and learned quite a few things. I learned to understand what the battle and the 'good fight' were, what 'damaged' people could do and the difference between survivor and thriver. I also learned of victims - who were victims on other levels and didn't even realise it.

I also remember my own time... alone in in the darkness.

It's about taking those pieces of the puzzle and putting them all together. To stop being the victim and breaking away from that mentality to find what you really need that's hidden away in the darkness; the Prima Materia, the stuff that the allegorical gold is made from.

Yeah I remember the trauma and the pain and often relive it in my mind's eye, but it's not painful any more. What does make me collapse in tears is not the pain or the thought of what happened, what causes me to come apart is what I've come to realise because of it. There was a time when it was the driving force and the inspiration but that's evolved.

We all Walk our Paths together alone; some in front, some behind but everyone in the same place. While the prints mingle they are yet different. When you've been there and come through it..... I can't give you this because it's not yours, although perhaps it is for you to find on your own Journey. It's screamingly frustrating having to stand back and watch people go through things that you know isn't going to be easy but you know they have to go it alone anyway and you know why. But the darkest places in the Universe are the places where we have chosen not to shine our Light, and our Light is made from the Prima Materia.

If you're not a Lord of the Rings fan then shame on you. Right at the very end Frodo is standing on the pier where the last ship to the Grey Havens awaits. Of course he hasn't said anything to Sam, Merry and Pippin yet about him leaving. He hands Sam the book Bilbo started and Frodo continued, when Sam notices there are a few pages left.
"It's not finished."
"Those pages are for you, Sam."
Your white book is a journal and has more significance than you realise. Have you heard of the Akashic Records?

As always Patrycia, you are very welcome. And thank you for your continued creation of the space where it can happen.