Agreed. To say anything but the most universally or broadly applicable stuff is pointless because at the individual level, we're individual
The broadly applicable is just that...broadly applicable but will not apply to each and every person at all times and places.
Having said that...I think the reason a lot of men seek casual sex or even long-term casual sex (meaning sex without an authentic love for the other woman or man) is best viewed in very broad strokes. At the elemental level or constitutional level, which deals with energy and constitutional elements in our makeup. These can be viewed individually, regionally or ethnically, and more globally by gender. (Many further say there are regional solar system differences in our constitutional elemental makeup as Gaians versus humans from other places
).
1. What men what from women and why they typically can't attain it:
When men seek to broadly fill their constitutional elemental lack of or need for water and earth, they often instinctively seek to draw that from a woman via sex, touch, and being in her presence. However, this is only ever truly satisfying on the many levels in which we exist when there is a mutual authentic love.
Most marriages in most places were more or less arranged in times past and sexual behavior otherwise was highly scrutinised and largely non-existent except by force or pay. Many men took opportunities to rape women off the battlefield during wartime and this was an unspoken perk of war. Typically partnerships (usually marriages) lacked a full and mature mutuality of authentic love in partnership, in very large part because of the imbalance and oppression built into social relations between men and women historically.
So -- historically lacking this authentic love as a source of energy exchange and balance -- instead, many if not most men since time immemorial simply partook of their designated sexual outlet, got kids on her...
...AND meantime fortified themselves with water and earth by drawing these from the woman's energy via sex and the touch involved when she at least provided some consistent measure of giving, of support, of lovingkindness and of authentic love. According to a man's cycle,
if energy exchange is not mutual and authentically loving on both sides, this one-sided draw or taking of energy from a woman lasts only days, if even, at which point he will crave another boost for these deeper elemental and emotional needs.
This is because the man's constitution and sexual apparatus, both, tend to spend his already dear water and earth elements and he is in constant need of fortification if his energy exchange is not deep and transformative. It's like trying to hold sand and water in a cracked or shallow cup...they run right out. The cup must be mended and deepened...transformed entirely through a true engagement and energy exchange on all levels. Otherwise,
without a sustained mutuality of authentic love, no matter how much sex a man has, he is never mended and transformed but rather always energetically injured, frail, and weak, his vessel cracked and running on empty.
No matter even how much a woman may give love and sex freely to him, it is never of the same energetic, transformative, and satisfying quality without his full engagement and his authentic love of his partner. In other words, sex without a woman's authentic love for a man is depleting and unsatisfying energetically for a man. But yet even a woman's authentic love for a man is a only a necessary
but not yet sufficient part of what a man needs to balance and transform himself energetically in partnership and sex.
The missing piece is the authentic love and full immersion of the self which he himself must give, in order to both receive and to contain or hold the level of love and vibration needed to satisfy, heal and transform himself.
Women likewise who seek to boost their weaker air and fire (at least in many women) through sex without love are often desperate to please and by giving of themselves, they seek energetically to draw from a man's active and impactful nature. However, without a mutuality of authentic love, this is typically very caustic and damaging both short- and long-term to a woman's nature. This is exactly because without the authentic love and full reception of our being, the one-sided or lopsided energetic taking by the man typically vastly overcomes and outweighs whatever the woman might seek energetically to receive.
That is, the sexual act by itself, without a mutuality of authentic love, tends to severely deplete or degrade a woman's often already lower levels of fire and air...a vicious cycle for those who partake in the quick fix seeking emotional and elemental balance in this way. Additionally,
sex without authentic love tends to dangerously deplete a woman's natural constitutional portion of earth and water...leaving her ungrounded and energetically wounded, or full of injury and trauma in her energy body, paralleling the emotional and spiritual trauma which accumulate. Women, too, must nurture and contribute their own fortified air and fire aspects in order to be fully mature emotional and spiritual partners who can truly give and receive authentic love. And not by giving themselves away and traumatising themselves to the point of degrading their water and earth, which in turn degrades their life energy and their wellbeing on all levels.
2. How does this apply to you?
Right now, energetically,
many women are energetically engaged in patterns that are literally unsustainable to the species long term because they are actively tapping into their life force reserves to keep men superficially and momentarily boosted without any deeper and reciprocal return from the men in most cases. Due to the men's general overall lack of full engagement and a parallel lack of contribution energetically of authentic love in the sexual act and in partnership generally -- which today occurs at least in part because no clear expectation or boundaries are being drawn now by many women, even though they are largely no longer forced into marriage or partnership as in times past.
In the past this was typically often a lopsided exchange of giving by the woman to the man but typically only for 1 man or maybe two if she remarried. Nowadays many women give energetically in a severely lopsided and often harshly imbalanced way to many men over many years, ceaselessly, with little to no positive energetic return from any or all -- producing a severe, cumulative, depleting and traumatising negative energetic draw or taking from her.
Women typically need to first come to a neutral position where they do no harm to themselves and are not constantly being tapped dry and damaged in this way by others. This is necessary in order to regain their centre...that is, their footing, their strength, their balance, and the healthy, authentically self-loving perspective that are all theirs by right, but which in this modern era many if not most lack -- often severely and dangerously at the energetic level.
A woman needs to live from her centre in order to set healthy boundaries and to begin to explain to men that simple energetics and sustainable existence require that they come to a more balanced way of being and interacting. One that first and foremost does no harm, and may only then be able to sustain a mutually positive long-term exchange. Once both sides are capable of a long-term reciprocity in authentic love.
This is at the broad strokes level -- I hope this gives you something you can use in your own life
Peace & blessings,
7L