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Some of my experiences have been very similar. i have noticed that physical moment helps to ground me, and keep me from feeling disconnected. I took martial arts classes in high school and collage, and i like to get outside and bike, or just walk around.
I have always felt a little out of place in this world from the time i was very young, and i realized that other children my age didn't experience things the same way i did. If i touched a tree or picked up a rock to me it was something alive, I could feel energy coming off of it, sometimes even talk to it, but to my friends they we just objects. Latter in life i found out that i was energy sensitive, and gained a better understanding of some of the things I was feeling. I often feel like I am walking around with one foot in this world, and one foot in another.
People and relationships have always been difficult for me. While i understand most of the emotions people are supposed to have, like love, pain, joy, fear, empathy ect i find that i am missing any concept of a couple of odd ones, like jealousy. I don't get it at all, people have explained it to me so many ways, and i have no idea what it is. So where ever this is involved, i find myself really confused by what other people are doing.
I often find other humans to be volatile, and unpredictable. I understand most feelings, but sometimes other people seem to bounce back and forth so fast, and i don't get why.
To be honest I often don't feel very human. In my spirituality i work with Faeries (fairy), who see me as one of their own kind. This adds a whole other dynamic to my identity as I have as i have always had to try and balance this part of my self with trying to live in a human wold. In the Past I have tried to keep the human part of my identity separate from the Faerie part, but i can no longer do this as it makes me feel torn in two.
I loosely identify as Faerie ken, but it is more of an idea than an exact term, and i have never seen anyone else use it. A few weeks ago I had a was desperately trying to find some peace, and not feel so alone, when i had a dream about looking up "Earth Angels" on the internet. I apparently have no idea what the term actually means, and so far those who know wont tell me ;P. So if you happen to know anything pleze let me know. Feel free to send me a message.
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