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Originally Posted by wanchain
Yes, I notice that as I allow more free flow of energy to pass through me, I find that there are more people to support me. The thing is, I am not letting go fast enough, so although those people are there, I am not able to benefit from their availability.
I am seeing my resistance to let go. Mostly fears. Fear of disapproval, judgment, condemnation, aggression, intimidation, etc. My physical body still holds a lot of wounds relating to those fears.
I was so so so disappointed with myself this morning when I didn't tell my boss what I am feeling. I was so disappointed with myself that I wanted to cry. He is very hard to catch, but this morning he phoned me out of the blue to check up on me. Fear of authority. Aside from that, I also didn't have the clarity, so didn't know what exactly to tell him.
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Yes its that point of non attachment and not containing anything moving outside of yourself. In this way even the most challenging situations can be allowed to be and open up in such a way that you find support even in these times in yourself for you. The flow of energy is important to the whole unfolding of you and support.
Fears are difficult to overcome if you have been completely entrenched at the core. Those wounds need a lot of love and support to clear and fill up the spaces beyond them also. So both giving to yourself (deeper self love) and opening the passage of receiving externally is part of the flow of you and others.
It can be hard to face the reality of you "aware" knowing what you need and feels and then not being able to fully step through the old patterns and fears to feel more complete in your actions, I know this well. But it does get easier the more you clear out those old wounds at the core and end the old reactions.
Processing and clarity are one of the key aspects of walking through fears to find what you need. So that "self loving" response to you for you, knows how to find space and time to do this. As someone who has walked through fears, I understand the depth of challenge fear can pose. Triggers are difficult but to clear out the threads to get clear about actions of support, you have to spend time with them and release those threads lingering in yourself. The other issue is their is no rush. If its going to happen it will happen. So being more conscious of yourself and your needs is important.
If you here in this life to feel and be empowered, it is going to happen so be gentle with your process and give your self a pat on the back for every step that you make that is a win for you, because your aware of your leaps forward and your aware of your times you fall. It is so important to acknowledge the steps your leaping forward with, otherwise you will spiral with yourself being caught up aware of yourself rising and falling over and over...