[shivatar]

Optimum health is a state of mind in my opinion. When I was younger being sick felt different, even the smallest of sicknesses felt overwhelming to me. Now that I'm older and I have strengthened my mind, I feel fine and optimistic even under extreme pain or sickness. Only the most severe of sicknesses can make me mentally "feel sick", the way I felt when I was younger.

It's not that I don't get sick, I get sick 4-5 times a year actually, but I fight it off so much better now that I have peace of mind and my relationship with God, and I don't experience the same... how to I explain this... mental suffering of sickness. It's as if I am in "optimum health" even in sickness, but it's a state of mind, not that I'm immune to disease.

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You seem to have this idea that Life is better that death... but theres no way to know. Perhaps just considering that thought is enough to bring you some peace of mind, maybe death is better than life?

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you seem to be concerned too much with what is righteous and what is justice, that is Gods work. Let him do the judging and if you can, try to keep your mind at ease, have faith in Gods law, that it's perfect and everything is as it should be.

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this is just my personal opinion but you guys are taking it too serious. It's my experience that religion and spirituality are to help a person lead a wholesome and good life, that is to say that they enhance a persons life.

When religion becomes a persons life, to the point that they are ignoring their inner self and voice, that is the point where things have gone in the grey area.

I mean just think about Gods perspective, do you think he would be happy with your actions? You called out to him so much, leaned on him so much that eventually you began to dislike him