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Originally Posted by SteveGiff
As a person who has suffered from bipolar disorder, it sounds to me like you might have a mental illness. You might be smart to ask around about a compassionate mental health center or psychiatrist who could help you. You might be surprised to find out how much better you feel and how much better things go once you have tackled this with the help of a kindly progessional. I know because I was really crazy, and though recovery was very far from a picnic, I'm really glad I got help and be pretty stable now.
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This is a great bit of advice, seek professional help, in your heart you know feelings of rage and cruelty are wrong, you need to find out the cause of these negative emotions and get the help needed to deal with them.