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Originally Posted by The Necromancer
I'm getting so much stuff coming through now, my head is in a mess. lol
The Latin 'ad hominem' keeps popping up regularly throughout, like an elder admonishing a child by saying 'bad boy' and not 'that was a bad thing you just did'.
Some people shift onus onto person and make it a personal attack, thus trying to lower another's self confidence because they disapprove/disagree with the behaviour...it becomes "you have offended my very sense of what is correct, so here, have an insult as punishment for that" and not "what you just said/did isn't appropriate from the perspective of my focus, could you either explain yourself or please just cease those actions around me in future?"
What I am gathering is a person's own spiritual beliefs must be on pretty shaky ground if any little 'negative thing' offends them and acts as an affront to what they believe in.
However, the word more people should get into the habit of using is 'appropriate' or any antonyms thereof. People just like to use highly emotive words because, I guess, people just have more/different/stronger or whatever emotions than I do...or else a totally different bunch of them.
So words like 'bad', 'evil', 'unfair', 'uncaring' etc are used when it could all come under the 'label' of being just plain inappropriate according to the other person.
So, today I was pretty straight forward in saying, basically "those who will not listen to anybody else cannot be helped and don't deserve my sympathy...let them rot" (or words to that effect)..
I had another member saying I was being rude, judgmental and they were going to leave the forum because of me.
Staff had to come and lock it up which was very good, VERY good, because I was just about to say "goodbye then, I won't miss you..."
This was the impetus behind this all...people being too 'emotionally fragile' and have all this 'empathy' going on that one has to walk on eggshells around them and watch what they say or else they could burst out into tears at any given moment.
My god, if that's what it takes to be 'spiritual', kill me...kill me now.
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I have been emotionally fragile I remember this in myself when I notice others, I have been that person.
I am an empath so I get the whole I feel deeply and I know its not me, so I notice others when they are there, I have been that person.
The lesson on the other side for me was being ok to be seen as
"that person" even as I knew myself and felt complete. People have their filters and cant see them and tell you its you. The thing with me nowdays is that I am quite honest with myself if they are on the money. When they hit the spot, I know the truth in myself. And I use that as a point of reconciliation in myself. When it doesn't react in me, I wonder if it is about them. But I don't say. I just observe and notice. I learn that I can still be myself and get on with it..
The old me would have fallen to the floor for weeks being seen a certain way that I couldn't see was me. My tears and fall told me something valuable. I learned what I was in all that reaction in myself. When I don't react I know my balance is moving in the right direction. Aware of something but not needing to entertain it as myself, because I get the bigger picture of myself in all that now.
Peace with what is.