http://kundalini-teacher.com/awakening/sawaken.php
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org/threads/th_tpdwn.html
http://biologyofkundalini.com/articl...story=DownisUp
Some info about top down energy that may or may not be helpful to you.
I don't know how to speed up the process for you. I would have told you to meditate! But it seems problematic for you. I guess do the best you can. Don't worry about grounding slowing your process. If anything I think it will speed things up and help you feel better.
I had the top down energy happen first. My crown opened up, I felt a large chakra above my head spin and then energy move down through my body (not just spine) in about a five day period of time. This is when I felt the flu-like symptoms you read about. Once it reached my feet I started feeling heat there as energy was being drawn in from the earth. Hot feet/big toes is a common pre-kundalini symptom. I think it was about three months before bottom up kundalini energy occurred. But of course it's different for each.
I know you say the energy has reached your heart chakra but it sure sounds as if there is a block in the throat chakra.
Do you ever picture white light coming in through the crown, filling your body, then flowing out your feet and into the earth? I think this is the visualization that really got things moving for me. I've also pictured crystal clear water flowing through gently dissolving blocks, carrying away the dissolved bits. Whenever I do these visualizations I always intend it be gentle and easy. And it has been really though I get spooked once in awhile.