Hello LillyBelle,

Sincere wishes that things get better. My suggestion FWIW may seem difficult - may not even be possible in a single step - but try to view your situation from a 3rd person viewpoint. Pretend you're one of the commenters here but able to "look in" on what's happening. If you get a quiet moment just sit and contemplate what's going on - as a viewer.

It may just help rationalise your situation; help you to pose the sort of questions that seem needed, like "Are they playing on what they see as your insecurities?" "Are they playing on your depressions and anxiety?" "What are they getting from it?" "Is your cousin one of these masochistic types who likes to be controlled and abused?" "If so, is your intervention necessary?" "Are you simply wasting your time and emotions?" "Do you feel like you're clinging?" But these are just thoughts. You need to come up with questions of your own.

However, in recognition of your health this may be extra difficult. I don't suffer from depression (in fact, those SSRI drugs actually MAKE me feel depressed so I have some inkling of what you mean) but I do know that it's so difficult to "be objective" when you're down. So I reckon you're right - baby steps.

I agree with Tobi, not only getting out and about but in doing so it'll put space between what's happening now and the future.

♥