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Originally Posted by Shivani Devi
I am just subscribing to this thread and reading it out of interest.
It has been quite a while since I last felt Shakti. It's as though my body and psyche has somehow totally desensitised itself to Her whole influence, but the lingering (numerous) nervous complaints from Her blasting Her way through blocked nadis and psychic knots hasn't left me and shies me off from going through it all again, without proper purification (as stated).
From the content of the opening post, it sounds for all the world like a throat chakra opening, and Shivatar's newfound ability to openly and honestly express himself can have something to do with it.
For now, my Shakti lives in Manipura Chakra, causing heartburn, IBS, gall-bladder attacks and an over-inflated sense of self-importance with regard to absolutely nothing (after Her visiting the Crown Chakra briefly). I've tried to establish Her in my heart, but I am emotionally numb...things that used to arouse delight and love in me just create a sense of cynical nostalgia now.
This baby has fallen down so many times...countless, until I realise there is an intermediary stage called 'crawling' before it can get up and walk.
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Pain is an old friend of mine. yours too right? What made you decide to turn your back on your greatest ally? lol nvm, it was the pain obviously! lol thats how it goes doesnt it. pain brings the good stuff, pain takes it away, the pain of not having it brings it back. pain pain pain. life is pain buddha said.
I have been having problems with my throat chakra for 9 months or so now. I got a new job in management 9 months ago and I have been struggling to improve my throat chakra almost daily ever since. I'm finally beginning to see the results ^_^ well, they have been coming steady almost since the beginning. its much easier now though and less of an effort.
I feel you on the emotional numbness. I can feel that my body is numbed from years of pain, however I can feel that I am at least willing and open these days. I can feel almost every emotion because I am so open to it, however it feels like it is coming through a deep fog and haze. I think that is a sign that my body needs more purification and practice before the emotions become overwhelming. and overwhelming is what I want tbh, I've had enough of the numbness.