[sentient]

Originally Posted by SpiritualLobster

I also always knew I was native, even before I could prove it.

For me the situation felt like being ‘a lost soul in the world’, when you know you are something ‘other’ than what (even with the best of intentions) you have been told you are, and then you just cannot fit that mold either, (what you are supposed to be) because everything within you is screaming against it.
Such an inner conflict.

I was deeply spiritual and connected to that way of life. I joined native culture

Same here, actually there are 4 of us living in my area (all sort of genetic relatives of mine) who integrated into different Aboriginal groups, because we can relate to that way of being better since it reflects our indigenous roots too. Being/living in a kindred community also stopped the internal struggle or fight.

When you have been brought up with strong collective and egalitarian values, it is difficult to adjust to the hierarchical ego-competitive situations.
Like one lawyer I knew who couldn’t take the big cut-throat corporate lawyer world (or whatever it was) and thought there was something so ‘wrong’ with him.
I saw an Aboriginal person superimposed upon him and asked him about his heritage. He didn’t know, but it did strike a chord and he didn’t take a DNA-test, instead he confronted his mother who had always told him his dark complexion was from his South European background. Which it wasn’t, and he finally learned about his Aboriginality and came to a total ease within himself about his internal value system.

But then I don't know whether the above story relates to finding out that you are part Native American (?)

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Nowadays I feel quite at ease moving between both black and white cultures, but the ease is there because both are present with lots of good people from both sides on that reconciliation bridge.