Well Met
Sarah; I will tell you intuitively - there is nothing wrong on the personal level of your own individual life - its not tied directly to you individually - and neither is it an issue where you have "disconnected" or lost touch with some part of Self - my intuition here says complete opposite actually
The problem is I believe - that you have as they say - woken up - or are beginning to stir and rouse the true Self. With this new Self awareness you are begininng to witness the world in all its naked truth - and yes - sorry it is this way - but indeed there is plenty here to mourn over, there will be plenty of sadness and it will feel exactly like there is a huge essential thing missing from this life. I would like to share here, two things from my mate Christ - as always He says it best - from Thomas :
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Whoever has come to know the world has discovered a carcass, and whoever has discovered a carcass, of that person the world is not worthy."
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We wake up to this new truth of Self, and the world becomes a dead and rotting thing in our mind - no wonder then, there is sadness and a sense of loss and tangeable grief. But please - take heart - have courage it gets much MUCH better. As He says :
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"Those who seek should not stop seeking until they find. When they find, they will be disturbed. When they are disturbed, they will marvel, and will reign over all. [And after they have reigned they will rest.]"
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Would you trust or believe me - if I said I shared the same steps on my journey and found the same problems - but push through and now - I have a peace and joy within - that is like nothing I could have imagined - Iam bulletproof in this world - so safe and secure now this world cannot affect me or bring me down low again. This "thing" that you realise is lacking ? - is on its way to you even now
trust in your Self and have a little courage..