Hey Fire,
Since I was very young I felt what love was as well. Since I knew anything, I knew what love was - I used to write poems about the different aspects of love and show them to my mother, she was always mesmerized by how I knew so much because she couldn't understand where I got my knowledge from.
For a very long time I also struggled with finding love, I wanted to feel this feeling that I knew was there. Since I thought like this, I put many girls on a plaque, looking at all their features as godly. - Let me tell you, none of these girls ever ended out going out with me.. or looking at me the same way i looked at them..
After many years of depression due to my deep search, I started wondering what love really is.. This feeling is not due to the persons physical attributes, its not due to their personality - Whenever I looked at a girl for these things, I never felt love.. I felt longing. This means that the love I deeply wanted, I characterized to be a certain way.. What makes this characterization right? I thought, in fact, its not because if it was then I would feel love.
After a while of pondering over what love is and how one really receives it, I came up with a conclusion that got me out of my deeply dug hole and it opened my eyes to a whole new aspect of life in general.
When you are looking at others to give you love, this means you do not have love for yourself. Your looking for someone to fill this emptiness, while really, you have the tools already to fill it because you've felt it before.
This led me to the question, what is love?
Love is a very sophisticated energy with ranging frequencies that connects everything in this world.. The key thing to realize is that its an energy, not an emotion..
Where is love found, how can i find it?
Everywhere! - There are two different aspects to look at this world through. Your mind and your consciousness. Your mind calculates every action taken in every obstacle given in order to result in the feeling of joy. - Whats joy? Happiness. - That being said, your mind works on the axis of past and future. - So this also means, when you are looking through your mind, your looking through your own truth, not reality. - When you are only aware of your consciousness, you live only within the present. You see the world as it is, not as you wish it to be because you don't wish, instead, you live! In your consciousness you are connected to the world directly - how so? Through love!
So Jorddy.. What are you getting at!? :P
Your searching for something that is flowing around you as your reading this. Love is something universal, it connects all to all. Instead of dying to the need for love, be aware of your consciousness and live in love!
Stop looking for the key to the door because its already on your chain!
Perspective changes all, uplift yourself, live in love, know its all around you, know you share it with everyone already and grow independent in your mind instead of dependent on others :)
Much love, Anymore question I'm here - This topic means a lot because I've been in the same spot.
Remember, its all around you at every moment, all you need to do is live within it instead of dwell without sensing it.
- Jorddy
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Originally Posted by Fire7
In any case, I'm tired of the loneliness. And I know that people say "love yourself first." I have heard that time and time again. But who's to say that I don't already love myself and just want to share it? Still, whether I have self love/esteem or not, loving me is not the same as loving another person who's eyes, hair, skin, bone structure, body, and personality literally make my heartrate eccelerate, cause waves and shivers of electricity to flow throughout my body, and cause me to become lightheaded at the meer sight of him. It is not the same! And self love cannot substitute for it.
All I have to say is I don't know what to do! It's just so frustrating!
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