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Originally Posted by ONEsoul
I will add my .01 cent worth...Try to lighten your heart. Meaning,... find all the positive things about this connection and focus on that. It will not only help eliminate your ANGER and HURT, but it will give you some perspective. You have said you don't think she is intentionally trying to hurt you, and from what I have read I doubt she is. She is probably as dazed and confused by this connection as you. Why do people expect rational behaviour from people going through one of the most intense, transformative , life changing experiences they have ever encountered. Everyone reacts differently. I am not saying this to justify her actions, I am saying this speaking from YEARS of experience going through this. When a connection this strong comes along, it overwhelms you. Your range of emotions are off the charts. If you have trust issues, as I did, and as she probably does as well, it takes crazy to a whole new level! You LOOK for things as an excuse to discount this experience, so you can explain it away as not being real, and all in your head. That would be a relief, because then all the craziness would stop! You admitted that you sent her mixed messages in the beginning.... Sending mixed messages to someone with trust issues is a death wish. It gives that person the validation they were loking for, to not reciprocate any more of themselves, because you have given her doubt. I know it is not what you wanted to hear, but I lived through it, and understand. I was never unfaithful to any person I was ever in a relationship with...that part I cannot relate to, but she obviously is trying to work through something. Lighten your heart...Try to find some common ground with her, hopefully on a lighter humorous side, and lighten your heart. Find someone whom you can spend time with that can make you laugh, and that you enjoy hanging out with. It doesnt have to be a soul connection. You sound like a funny, loving, passionate person whom most women would love to get to know. Sometimes a real break is necessary and healthy. Unfriend her for awhile on social media, but do it with kindness. Tell her your taking a much needed break ....She will understand
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Thanks ONEsoul. I have been getting to know others exactly in the way which you advise. The connection isn't intense like it is with my twin, but the point is to find companionship with another with whom I can share a laugh or two and where each other's company is mutually enjoyable.
As for unfriending her, I have already told her many times I need a break, and she will contact me a few days or weeks after to see how I'm doing. If I respond in a reasonable amount of time, she will continue the dialogue. I'm not sure if going to greater lengths to avoid contact with her is the way to go. As it stands, contact with each other is unavoidable.
I feel it is better for me right now to build a wall between us so her actions don't have an effect on me. Since she doesn't believe in boundaries, it is up to me to build them.