Communication is so very important, especially how we communicate, as the saying goes there is no way that we cannot communicate; because even silence communicates something. However, I think it is wise to realize that we are always communicating with ourselves, even if we direct our communication towards someone else, we are at least affirming what we have told ourselves. Then there is the internal dialogue, which leads to what, and how, we understand others and ourselves.
The internal dialogue can be in words that take place in our head, it can be in nonverbal body language, and it can also be intuitive. Often the substance of our internal dialogue is about the external world and how we relate to it, how we relate to other people, but the internal dialogue may also be about how we interpret ourselves, our emotions, thoughts, or other more intimate matters. We often come to conclusions from our internal dialogue, and another phrase for “internal dialogue” is “self-talk,” or how we talk to ourselves. This, for better or worst, is how we program ourselves.
We are all programmed, or to say it another way, we are all conditioned, and that conditioning may have come from an automatic response to stimuli or it may have come from a deliberate attempt to better cope with our existence. I find the iceberg analogy rather accurate, an iceberg is usually much larger below the water surface than it is on the surface. We, human beings have a lot more going on below the surface than we do on the surface. Generally, people just treat the symptoms that are on the surface and they usually hide, stuff, or ignore the root causes. Reasoning will only take us so far, as logic can be faulty.
There are logical fallacies in syllogistic thought. Not all reasoning is sound or valid. We base so much of our lives on what we think. Society gives more validation to what is going on in our head than they do what is going on in our heart. I used to be extremely intellectual, fixed firmly in my head, until a colleague jokingly said to me, “haven’t you ever had a gut feeling about something?” Though this person was joking, I started to seriously question that. I learned that I was afraid to truly get in touch with my heart because I had stuffed so many things that I did not want to face deep down in my heart. This is the hell, which I often now refer to on the way to experiencing heaven. A self created hell.
Journaling, or writing down my feelings started the process of looking into my own heart. Understanding that no matter what we say, we are saying it to ourselves. The messages I give to others are messages I have given to myself; we give to others the work, or lack of work, that we have done on ourselves. If I am polarized it is not because of someone else, or something that happened to me, rather it is how my mind and body reacted, automatically or manually, to what has happened to me. In my opinion human life is not about what happened to us rather life is about how we react to what happened to us; the choices, consciously or unconsciously, that we make. Blame plays no part in this. Blame and casting judgment sidetracks the issue and gets us off into another topic. Grieving is healthy, crying can be healthy, but we do not want to wallow in self-pity for too long, else we may not do the work on ourselves that needs to be done.
Whenever possible I am into the least invasive approach. I also lean towards a drugless approach when ever possible. Notwithstanding what I am sharing here is a nonspecific sweeping generalization, and there are issues where pharmaceuticals or other more invasive treatments are necessary. But a lot of healing can take place just by self-talk. Our internal dialogue, our self-talk, for better or worst, is an affirmation. We constantly affirm things to ourselves for better or worst on a daily basis. An what we affirm has consequences. We influence our own physical bodily cellular structure by constantly focusing and thinking on the same thoughts. Once we start talking to ourselves about something, over time we start visualizing what we have been talking to ourselves about, and visualizations can be very powerful. Everything is inter-connected and intra-connected. Health is balance, and our balancing dynamic is like a web, when one thing within us gets out of balance it tends to imbalance other things.
There are many wonderful tools available to us at this point in time. Tools that maybe those who came before us did not have available to them. But even without any external tools, self-love is so important. Love is a healer unto itself. Start with words of love and then move into the feeling of love. If you cannot get a hug from anyone else, wrap your arms around your body and give yourself a big physical hug. Love your legs, feet, arms, and every other part of your body, in a gentle non-narcissistic way; be gentle with yourself. What healthy messages we did not get as a child we have to give to ourselves as an adult. The key to self-healing is to accept yourself right where you are at right now regardless of your situation, and work on yourself from there. Love yourself regardless what others may say about you. In my opinion the work is never done but the benefits often exponentially increase. Have gratitude for the simplest things in life and you will more readily notice those increasing benefits.
Keep your mind out of it as much as possible. We have got to learn how to use our mind, our thoughts and imagination, or our mind, thoughts and imagination will use us. Mind is not our enemy, rather it is an innate tool that we have to learn how to use just like we had to learn how to walk and use our legs, etc. I have seen too many people who were driven crazy by their own mind. Had their thoughts dragging them around, etc. You are not your thoughts. So these are just some things that have come to me on this Sun-Day, which I thought I’d share here in this thread.
Peace
