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Originally Posted by Esabell
Someone who I thought was a friend flipped on me and tried to kill me. I didn't do anything to deserve what I went through, but now I'm scarred for life. At times I catch myself day dreaming about that night unintentionally wishing I could delete it from my memory. Some days I'm ok, and most days I feel broken. I wonder what the message was behind that situation.
When he came at me with that knife and beat my a** and tried to stab me and told me "I have to kill you" I didn't run away for me. I ran, because I know that one day I'm going to have kids and if I'm not here they'll never be here. (If that makes any sense)
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It was a
traumatic experience that made you fear for your life ...
Your brain went into
survival mode that is why you ran ...
You are still in survival mode, unfortunately, there is no simple solution for abating it or coming out of it ...
When in survival mode the brain will provide a heartfelt reason to take immediate action to save one's life to continue on to serve (for lack of a better word) the purpose of becoming a mother/bringing souls to earth ...
Some people imagine the faces of loved ones or whatever a person holds dearly that will make her/him react quickly ...
Life is an existence, there are no icons or representations for it that the mind can instantaneously identify or depict for survival ...
Replaying the traumatic incident over an extended period of time is PTSD ...
The brain is not able to make sense of the incident leading it to replay it w/no end, understanding or solution ...
Look into EMDR w/a therapist for your mind ...
I found EMDR far more helpful than talk therapy b/c it kept me stuck in the cycle ...
For your body, try massage to relieve fear, stress & anxiety quickly - slow modalities such as yoga & meditation take time to get results, but are helpful after massage in maintaining relaxation ...
Modalities are beneficial, far more than people give them credit for ...
Not only is the brain in need of answers & relief in its continuous search for them, the body equally needs to be relieved from the stress of survival mode ...
IMO, both were necessary in restoring my life back to normal ...
You're right, you did nothing to provoke a life threatening attack ...
Sometimes, we're in the wrong place at the wrong time ...
Your saving grace was your survival instincts that gave you the insight & strength to run for your life ...
Blessings ...
