[7luminaries]

Hello there vivid.
You will likely confront the same situation(s) repeatedly across lifetimes till you've addressed them to your satisfaction. Sounds like previously, that did not occur, regarding your son. Now you have the opportunity to choose differently. However, before, you felt you'd failed your son in not just one but two ways...both financially and emotionally.

So how can you meet both these needs today? You have not 1 child now but 4. Even if you had money and time aplenty, it would still be an understandable challenge to find enough time to get to know all your children well, especially as they grow older and do their own thing.

Is there any way you can tip the balance in your favour? Do you have a spouse who can assist with income or are you single head of household?
If you have a spouse, that would be a huge way to lessen your concern for basic survival needs whilst not having to do it all yourself (pick up more hours &/or a 2nd job). This would allow you more time with your children, too.

If you are single head of household, however you do have to earn a paycheck and that is a firm priority. But hopefully whenever you're off, you can be present for your kids...talk to them and share meals and walks and play time, as well as you're able. Make sure they know they're loved and valued. And try to be fully present to each of them when you're with them, singly or together.

All the best...
Peace & blessings
7L