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Thanks for the reply. And the links. Strangely enough I haven't felt this physically healthy in a long time. I don't even feel suicial nearly as much as I did. I want to die but it's more like I want to want to kill my self so this nightmare will end. The days fluctuate in feelings. I never feel happy but it allows me to feel like myself once in a while. It could make me feel so much worse though. It's as if it's playing a sick game with me. It's hard to even write because it makes me forget what I'm writing mid sentence. Literallly just plucks the thoughts right out of my head. Then I have to go back and try to fix it so it makes sense. Thank god I don't work or have to be around people much because I just couldn't deal with that. I just feel completely alone without much hope.
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