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Originally Posted by august2803
Hey guys! People-pleasing and boundaries have always been my biggest challenges. When i want to confront someone i rationalise not doing it as the best solution. Lately my biggest confusion is with people telling me what to do/wanting to control me. I hate it. It is like i always have to be on the watch, my parents etc cannot let go of thinking i am a little boy.
Things like: "Take this" while giving me stuff to hold. "Turn on the light" etc.
I decided not to confront my grandmother when doing some gardening because she was paying me, do you think i should?
And what about people saying "hold this" etc. am i being touchy?
Greatly appreciated I cannot be grateful enough for the responses I get on this forum. Thanks to all!
- August
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It's difficult to reply without doing the very thing you don't want people to do - suggesting what you should do!
But fwiw don't take any notice of those who do this unless you perceive a benefit in doing what they ask or they simply want some local help. Saying "please" helps. It's good to help in small ways as you never know when you might want similar help but if someone persistently demands and doesn't return the favour then turn away. If someone's paying you there's an implicit "contract" and it's up to you whether you fulfil the obligation or not. Renege and you may find you won't be asked again.