I don't know where to start. I cannot handle my twin flame connection anymore. I am overwhelmed. I cannot do anything. Nothing matters but him. Thoughts of him consume me. It physically hurts being away from him. I am lost in this pain. We cannot be together. We don't make sense. He's already in a relationship that he has no reason to leave. We can't be together, but we cannot let each other go. Our relationship has never been physical. We are very close friends though. So close we don't need words to explain our feelings to each other. We just know. When we are together, I cannot get close enough to him. We just drift together. When I first met him, I felt this connection. It was almost like electricity was buzzing between us. He makes me feel alive. When we are apart, I feel dead. Like I can't breath without him. He is all wrong for me, but it feels so right. When we hug, I never want to let go. I am physically attracted to him, but that's not what it's about. It's different. His eyes. No one makes me feel the way he does. I look in the mirror and I see him. I feel him all the time. I look at pictures and it's like he's really looking at me. It's creepy.

It's just getting harder and harder to deal with. I want more. It's never enough. I feel like I'm going to explode with all this pressure. It's a push pull. When I run, he comes after me and when he runs I go after him. We know we have to let it go, but we can't. I almost was able once, but just when I thought I was getting past it. He came back into my life like a shark attack. And now, it is worse than ever. He's running again and I'm just left with this never-ending pain. My heart hurts all the time, the only time it does not is when I'm with him. I have been getting these signs. Numbers mostly. 1111, 111, 555. All the time. He does too. I feel him pulling away right now and it is literally taking my breath away.

I cannot let this go. I feel like I'm going insane. I have this overwhelming feeling that we have to be together. That it's a live or die thing. I don't think we have a lot of time either. I think there is something very big happening. I don't know what to do though. I can't do anymore than I have. He knows how I feel, he doesn't tell me how he feels. I can tell when I look in his eyes though. We are supposed to be together NOW. But we both keep making choices that keep us apart. Our connection is just too intense for me. It is causing me physical pain. Sometimes I wish I never met him. Although he has changed my life. We are so similar but so different. We both felt dead inside before we met each other. We woke each other up. Just at different times. When he was ready, I wasn't. And so it keeps going. It's not even about wanting to be intimate with him. It's so much bigger. I feel like the only way we are going to stay alive is to be together as a whole. There is this overwhelming sense of urgency I feel too. There is no one after him. If I cannot be with him, I am never going to be with anyone else. That is how real our connection is. I don't know how he can stay in his current relationship. They don't have that.

I know this is long, but I'm really needing some advise. I love him so much, that I don't want him to hurt because of me. A friend of mine told me to kiss him or seduce him. I won't do that. I know if it were to happen, he would feel terrible about himself for cheating and I wouldn't want to be the cause of him feeling that way. I love him that much.

He didn't even tell me that he is breaking away from me. I just knew, know. It's a no win situation. I cannot be with him and I cannot be without him. I am stuck in this painful limbo. I hate it. What can I do to escape him? Can I even?