[Tiss]

Originally Posted by Spirit Guide Sparrow

Dear Tiss,

I am pleased to have been able to be in service in this way.
I do hope my answer addressed the key focal part of your query on this sensitive subject.

░S░p░a░r░r░o░w░

Dear Sparrow (and friends),

After your last response I feel a little shy to share my recent story but it is necessary for me to see how to apply your last orientation about making my skills flourish. This is less conceptual than what we usually exchange here. Forgive me for that, but I feel at home in this thread and I actually need some light to find my way forward.

I am at the present in a big trouble. Sparrow guided me all these years in SP, after the man I loved unconditionally passed. With each of his words, with each guidance I first discovered and then consolidated my spiritual path. It was not easy...During the process, I lost all ability to enjoy life in human ways and also to bring love to my life, as I said here in a previous post.

I had big achievements concerning my job, and also achieved balance and peace, but based on a big loneliness. I built barriers and closed the doors to any kind of sentimental relationship. I fully exercised love in a macro sense, creating philanthropic causes and helping others, people and animals. I traveled a lot around the world, just enjoying the well done work and the fulfillment of my goals, but still yearning of having a male companion on my side.

Months ago, I met a younger man, we had been working together on that causes. I magically opened to him as never before (after my beloved passing). No explanation, just happened. The only person after so many years. I recovered my happiness.

He has got a complex personality, not very emotionally balanced, with a big level of inner hate and criticism towards the world and towards all the people in his circle. He feels deeply uncomfortable with his life, and also suffered psychosomatic problems, and a very low self-esteem.

On the other hand, I felt dazzled by his sharp intelligence. He was very loving and caring with me. We had no physical contact in the sense of a loving couple, but he became a loving companion in the distance (he lives in another city). I became his confident. We discovered many things in common: ideals, interests, lovely conversations. I felt very eager to guide him, to protect him, to help him grow up. I fully opened my heart to him.

He wanted to move to my city to work with me, but I doubted as I felt that I needed more time to confirm that it would be a right decision. I helped him in many ways and he told me that I was one of the very few whom he loved in his life. We were very compatible... Three months ago I invited him to travel in London for work and vacation, I enjoyed very much the trip. We lived together as good friends.

During the trip and shortly after, I began to notice some behaviors that I did not like, actually not so very relevant things, but very outside of my style. It affected me. He was a little obsessed with social networks and I found out that he allowed badly spoken women to tell him nasty words. Moreover, he seemed to be funny with that. When I found out that, I got very angry and rather than talking with him, I broke the relation in a childish way, via WhatsApp and blocked him.

His reaction was truly disproportionate and he lost his balance: he cut off all communication. The causes ended up being affected. I knew that he was sick because of the situation and lost a lot of weight. He felt terribly offended with me after I wrote an email pointing out his weaknesses. I could not get him to open and talk. There were some attempts that did not go well. I did everything wrong.

At the present, he refuses to speak to me at all, despite my requests. I sent and email eight days ago with no response.

No one in my entire life had ever denied me the possibility of a conversation to close things in a good way. I feel that I did him a lot of harm because I did not measure his poor emotional stability and maybe I was reckless in how I handled things, but I was also very positive and nurturing in his life, and he seems not to take into account it. I think that he is also angry because his expectations were not met, but...

I feel deeply attached to his soul although he does not want to talk to me and I do not know if he could be hating me. It is for me most than evident that our bond comes from in past lives. On the other side, I'm terrified with the possibility that my intuition betrays me, and all can be an illussion.

I am in a big pain because of several things: my lack of ability to handle the situation, I don't want to be hated by him (my love for him remains intact), the many good memories of all that beautiful things we shared, and not knowing what to do improve the situation.

All this is strongly affecting my life, the denial to talk, my inaction because of the fear to be rejected, the possibility that he does not care about me anymore. Incredibly, all this it hurts much more than when my beloved passed because I could understand then, and now I do not understand this. I ask to myself and to the universe, why to me? what's the reason and the purpose of this? what should I have to learn?

Sorry about the long post but it is difficult to explain this story in a few words, as well as the strong bonds I feel, his absence, my loss... and also I am wondering how will I recover to restart a path, with or without him.

With love,
Tiss