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i want to go back home to God is that wrong?
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Turning to God for help is the only thing you can do that will help you with your problems. The question is how to go about it.
In the next to last paragraph you compard your life to that of Jesus. Do you know the real reason Jesus suffered as he did? Jesus was not just a man but he is also God. He became a man and suffered the same things we do so that he could make a way for us to come to God. The source of all the suffering is human sin. All of us have sinned and we also suffer from the effects of other people's sins.
Jesus suffered many things because of the sins of others but he himself never committed sin. He died as an atonement for the sins that separate us from God. If you put your faith in him you will enter into a new relationship with God in which you will become part of his family and you will be able to go to him for help with all of your problems.
Perhaps the best place to start would be to read in the Bible about the life of Jesus and ask God to give you the ability to understand what you are reading. Remember that Jesus understands our problems because he has had first hand experience with them.
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Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
(Hebrews 4:14-16 ESV)
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I will be praying for you and asking God to help you with all of your problems.