AC ... thank you for responding with such depth. Lots of things you expressed resonated with me. I understand totally where you are coming from with regards to 'being' thin. I was very thin for 26 yrs ... about 2 yrs ago i regained my 'average' weight for height, and have managed to keep it on, however reading about your past anxieties was like reading my memoirs lol I was always a healthy eater and it bothered me that others would think i was experiencing anorexia. In fact i attended a two day training session based on Eating Disorders as part of my work and I can remember being so conscious of what others in the class thought of me as i did truly look almost as thin as some of the patients in the video we viewed. As it happened, lunch was provided and i 'pigged out' as usual lol ... then i withheld going to the loo afterwards because i thought others would think I was going to 'purge' ... that was several years ago and wouldn't bother me in the slightest now ... i was much less secure in myself at that time.
Desensitized ... not the best choice of word i guess ... I suppose after reflecting on what you have shared, it isn't so much that i don't experience, or indeed try to block that 'sense' of this or that, but rather finding the strength of character to allow all that is "not effective' to flow around me instead of getting sucked into the vortex
thanks again for your time and energy
