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Originally Posted by ReturningMoon
Hi everyone. In my opinion forgiving someone is something you just do for yourself. It's not really a gift to them but a gift to yourself.
I think the reason so many people are in resistance to forgiveness is because or both?
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It’s a gift to another if you feel to extend it. It’s also a gift to others if you face yourself fully as experiences reveal this. If you’re not holding into old stuff, you’re not projecting into life around you, unresolved stuff. I’m a forgiving nature, mainly because I’ve reached a place where I am aware, holding on and not letting go, does me no good. In reaching a place of forgiveness as my ‘being’ self, it means I take full responsibility for myself and my part in all situations that activate feelings that are mine to own. In healing those wounds, I no longer hold myself or the other as myself. If I’ve hurt, i face how that feels, if I’ve been hurt I face those feelings. It’s my responsibility.
If another hammers me (whether through words or actions) and needs to find their own forgiveness, I can be neutral, when Ive healed, I can be aware of what is mine, what they need to find for themselves. When you heal fully wounds, forgiveness you see is simply processing of emotional wounds. You bring it all back to wholeness within yourself if you can. ( that is the potential)
Words of forgiveness, might support another’s process, but the real process is when each take full responsibility for themselves, find healing and let go of it all. Extending forgiveness can support another to let go, but that is their process, not yours to work through.
( the movie the railway man, shows the power in both opening to forgiveness, when one has done the work, to that degree and then that forgiveness is given back to the one who harmed, which opens their heart to let go of their part)
It’s a great model of the worse kind of cruelty, but also the depth of healing that all parties can share. The only way to truly forgive is to open the heart fully, which means you no longer protect your pain and hurt.