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Originally Posted by Colorful-Chameleon
A Human Being (hello there)- thanks for sharing a little part of your journey- how long before you went through that transition had you been feeling like you had lost your faith? it seems to be that most people come in to the world with a huge stock faith but it gradually starts to decline over the years due to personal and social experiences -I was a very spiritual kid with alot of faith in god/universe (I guess most kids are really) and I can sort of see now why I choose to incarnate into my environment- with my families particular karma- as lonely as my experience could be at times- it facilitated alot of healing within the family unit- and even in a slighter sense the systems I was raised in- particularly the church (I was born into the church as they were going through a massive spiritual transformation) and it all served as a training ground to help me with my overall purpose.
What you said about "beautiful sorrow" resonated with me also- there comes a time when we have nowhere left to run or hide from those deep hurts- and being able to be fully present with it gives it a chance to transform - the strength of our resilience and our ability to rise from the depths is a wonderfully inspiring thing.
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I had a Christian upbringing, so as a kid I believed in God I guess, because my parents did. I stopped believing in the Christian narrative when I heard about the big bang theory at school, I think - I trusted the scientific explanation more for whatever reason (it didn't occur to me that the big bang theory doesn't necessarily exclude God). From quite a young age I thought that it wasn't enough to blindly believe in God, you've got to experience it first hand to truly know it. It's only when you see God in yourself that you're really free.