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Originally Posted by A human Being
Not at all, much of what you said makes perfect sense to me! And the bits that don't, hopefully will in time, if and when I experience the truth of them for myself.
I'm curious about this 'sterotypical soul connection awakening' you had -go on, elaborate, I'm curious. Whether it happens on the north face of the Eiger, or while you're lying in bed, the location isn't particularly relevant. It can happen while you're doing the dishes, it's still an amazing feeling.
I'm not exactly sure what you mean about signs and symbols (can you give me an example of two?), but I'll tell you briefly about my awakening - I was lying in bed at about five in the morning, it was summer and light out, and I couldn't get back to sleep. I'd completely lost my faith and believed I lived in a Godless universe; I felt absolutely hopeless, that life was a meaningless, painful ordeal and I couldn't see a reason for living any more. And then I just stopped struggling, because I felt like I couldn't win no matter how much I struggled.
The transition to a state of bliss was imperceptible (because my mind became silent, I think), but somehow or other it happened, and suddenly I found myself stood at the window, gazing out onto the street with this feeling of peace and profound happiness. The world wasn't this hostile, loveless place I'd built it up to be, it was beautiful and benign and I felt blessed to be alive.
Another poster (I forget who, sorry if you're reading this) posted up this video of Louis CK talking about surrendering to the sadness inside, the 'forever empty' as he calls it, and he absolutely nails it for me. He talks about feeling blessed to have felt this beautiful sorrow, and I know just what he means. And yet we're forever fighting it, for fear of annihilation maybe. |
I'm quoting you alot today lol- I keep getting sidetracked!
I found it interesting how your transition seemed rather seamless-(I am guessing there would have been quite a build up before that moment at 5am though) it seemed like a short and sweet 'aha' moment (sorry to quote Oprah lol) as though the pieces just suddenly fit for you- I like that.
I was going to elaborate for you on the soul connection thing- and the symbols- (I'll try, its a tad embarrassing lol).
I guess what the initial connection sparked was kundalini awakening- (which correct me if I am wrong is awakening of the feminine?). The most intense part of it lasted 3 months-
I could not shake this attachment I felt for the connection after approx 4 years of even having contact- we were just friends (I didn't initially feel a romantic attachment) which made it stranger- it was starting to cause me emotional pain until it finally prompted me to start meditating- I remember just so desperately wanting to let go and forget about it all Ha ha ha ha- no way in hell was spirit going to let that happen!
Alot of the symbols of kundalini (that I am aware of) are of a sort of sacred sexual nature- I guess. So the first biggie is the coiled Serpent which in my case was a hibernating snake stuck in a zip tied sandwich bag - I remember thinking what the heck?!, who'd put a snake in a bag haha?!! (Off topic it made me angry cause I'd seen a dead goanna at a national park someone had tied in a bag and lit on fire a few months prior)
Kundalini is all about harmonising masculine feminine energy (isn't it?! As you can see I am an expert) Lol - so mostly alot of those sorts of symbols arose- here is a link-
http://www.northernway.org/presentat...odwife/23.html
The Star of David was a big one :)
Second biggy was the divine marriage- (more yin yang stuff) that and I was doing a design course at the time (landscape design) and I was working on a rustic style bush garden- I'd finished the design - only to look at it and realise I'd basically subconsciously drawn a garden that looked like a giant uterus lol (rebirth)
hehe- also I noticed I was attracted to music and artwork which reflected this rebirth theme as well- lots of landscapes that looked like female anatomy lol.
There was a tonne of other symbols as well which at the time really caught me off guard- mostly because nobody really talks about it in the western world-
I suppose if I had an interest and background in yoga I may have had some sort of understanding- but my background was completely fundamentalist Christian - alot of valuable information has been omitted from western religion.
I hope that sort of cleared it up a bit for you
