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Hello,
I will give you my impressions. All readers are biased. It is truly up to you to discern any reading in my view.
You were curious about the nature of those so called dark side energies which is why you invited and encouraged encounters with them. Naturally once (they), [I tend to see these energies as aspects of self,] establish them self without you managing them properly, you are not able to think clearly as you once were able to do. The nature of dark is to obscure light and illumination, which actually was your original intent. To learn more about these things. A very wise choice as I see it.
How to proceed at this point is actually a choice for you. There are two schools of thought about the nature of evil. One being that it exist and must be fought and defeated. That is the most common world view which humanity has fostered for 50,000 years. We have seen war after war and conflict after conflict in every sector of physical reality. That other point of view about evil is that it is a choice of perception. That the eternal creator being's energy and desire is benevolent and good, that our free choice is about seeing the true nature of that, or not. I can speak more about this if you are interested.
I hope this brief reading of mine will be of value to you.
John
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