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I'm so glad things worked out for the best with you and your mother.
After repeated hurts from mine throughout my entire life, this was kind of the final blow. I absolutely, unconditionally forgive her. There's not even any rationalization behind it ("she's so broken, she doesn't realize," etc...). I forgive her.
I prayed a lot about it and the answer I got was clear: reconciliation is not inherent to forgiveness. Forgiveness is not mine to withhold or give; in fact, forgiving her is as much a gift I gave myself as one I gave to her.
I have no enmity towards her, but I can't allow her to maintain a presence in my life when that presence has a very strong track record of being against my best interests.
She texts me every now and then (3 times in the past six months, always on someone's birthday) and asks how the kids are. I always reply, in effort to keep it cordial.
I truly hope she has a good life. I hope she finds peace. I feel like this is the best place I can be right now, but that's not to say I'm not keeping an open mind for the future.
---On the stomach ulcer, wow! It took you 6 months to heal? I've been treated for this since early October and am still throwing up a couple times a week. I was hoping I was either about to turn a corner or it was gall bladder instead. I guess this is normal?
They told me mine was because of a combination of stress and because I was taking NSAIDs too often. I was having a lot of headaches. :(
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