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Spur of the moment thing. The alchemical transmutation of lead into gold, what it means to me is darkness into light, unconscious into conscious. Something that poisoned my mind also cleansed it, my greatest curse has become the greatest blessing. I used to label and reject my pain like it was something I needed to escape from, what I learned to do while in a state of apparent hopelessness is accept the pain with open arms and compassion, welcoming the pain with a big hug. My pain reminds me to be present, suffering is a wakeup call. Like that song when you're smiling the world smiles with you, when you smile to your pain, it smiles back.
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