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Thank you dear Ciona.
Dear Tobi, yes I started detaching from this person when there was a bit less control. I could not stop replying because many years ago I gave to this person a weapon to destroy me, in the form of a tool by the means of blackmailing that I never thought could be used against me. If such tool was to be used against me, it would have lead to a much worse outcome in my life.
It is impossible to get rid of my main account for professional reasons but as long as this person does not contact me in a very long time I continue removing astral attachments and just any chord that could bring him back. I get to hear less and less fro this person for longer periods of time and more now that I really stopped giving any expression of love. I was fully blind by the fear of this person releasing the tool and also the fear of abandonment and cheating, something that he did anyway. I do doubt now that I will even reply to something in the future.
However, I have been falling back to depression. Conditions in my job changed in such a way that I am having less and less contact with people and my horizon looks too empty. I really feel bad because I am already reaching my late 30's and as bad as it sounds I never spent a special date with a partner, even less have a family on my own and in my job most people are married couples and some really look very happy together. I have no friends at all because I wasted my time with the wrong people, so I do not see a future that looks any brighter at the moment.
SiKux...I hope that some day I can feel positive...I have been meaning to say something else.
I will try to connect again to my I AM. For some reason I feel like I disconnected.
She told me that I am still afraid to connect to her because I will have to face more in depth the fears of abandonment caused by several people, but I really shall do this as to come out of the depression and this current outlook.
I hope to feel better soon enough.
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