|
I was never told and it’s been 11 years. I only started really investigating it this January and I didn’t find out about soul exchanges till May or June. I came into this body (she was 16) against my will...my first memory was being a baby and being pushed into her body with all of her memories, emotions and knowledge, having to try to act normal, do homework, socialize, find hobbies, basically create a person and personality from scratch. I had a limited vocabulary, limited thoughts, her hair changed color (became lighter) and her nose changed shape. I constantly feel guilt because I don’t know why she left...she was stressed about her first job and a little depressed and felt restless and bored at times, it was summer and she wasn’t scheduled much. She was a hostess and had major social anxiety. She made some stupid decisions that year, had a friend who didn’t want to be friends anymore and really hurt her feelings/broke her heart, decided to go off an antidepressant cold turkey (her first drug) a month before I walked in...I think doing so and being on the medication itself significantly changed her brain chemistry. She was very vulnerable I think. The sucky thing is I have no memories of my life before “being a baby” and being in her body, so I don’t know the sequence of things, I don’t know how the “exchange” happened if it was an exchange. I know nothing. And it’s been rough. I wish I heard from her or a spirit guide, something. I don’t know what my purpose is, I can only guess. My life has been made less lonely because of her loving family...I still live with my/her parents and i’m 28 now. I have a few good friends but it took awhile to find them. I feel such guilt that I took her place sometimes and she missed out on so many pivotal memories, chances, experiences...I feel like we both have been punished and I don’t understand why. She often seemed to cope with emotions by distraction and internalizing, maybe she internalized too much near the end. I KNOW she didn’t want her life to be over so something went wrong.
|