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I have struggled mightily with this for decades...but with only one person ...my father
many times I have felt that it was truly behind me...that I forgave him..but sometimes a story would come up with my brothers and bam...right back in it.
So I guess I'm in a partial forgiveness if there is such a thing...I think intellectually I have forgiven him....but at times I still struggle with him in an emotional way...not always ...but when I do it is very disrupting.
I have done the keep forgiving thing...over and over...I know full well that I'M the only one affected by holding on to this....but it can still kick me in the nads.
I do think that I hold on to this also, because of how he was to my mother ..I get mad when I think of all the grief he caused her...and I was too young to kick his a** ....and THAT bothers me...it bothers me because I'm not totally over this...and because I had thoughts of striking him (can't win on that one)
Emotions can get the best of us...most times I am the master of my emotions..but when I am not.... they master me for a time
Love
acorn
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