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Originally Posted by alfiewhitnell
How do you forgive, deep inside?
I can pretend like I do, but deep down inside me I am still mad at some people for certain things, hurting me, or people close to me.
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Some people project hurtful things. It's like a guard dog will always try to bite you if you get close. I would not say I am mad at certain people, but they affect me in negative ways so I avoid them or stay away from them. If someone likes to harm you or doesn't treat you with respect or dignity etc there is no reason to like such a person or want them in your life. Loving others is a good idea but you also have to love yourself and not let those who seek to harm you do so.
It gets harder when we are related to people or work with people who are toxic or have to spend time in environments where hurtful people are because you can't always avoid such people then. So then you have to find ways to interact with them where they cannot harm you. Maybe limit how much you talk to them or talk to them in a very superficial manner.
A lot of bad things (if not all?) that happen to us is due to karma. Perhaps we needed abusive people in our lives to learn certain things or because of karma.
Sometimes being mad at someone is just knowing who they are to you. A lioness is wonderful to her cubs, but then will kill a zebra's baby without a pause. It's good to know the nature of another and how they treat or act towards you. Mad can also mean you have anger you are holding onto towards them but holding onto whatever happened in the past lets them hurt us more in the present. In Zen, one tries to not let the past affect us in the present by not focusing on thoughts of the past.
In Christianity and Buddhism is the idea we don't have to punish anybody for their actions, Karma or Judgment Day takes care of that. People will always get back what they give out. As Paul McCartney said, the love we take is equal to the love we make.