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Originally Posted by olhosdeamendoa
I have had a major spiritual awakening about 7 years ago, where the veil was lifted and my life completely transformed.
I started living from my truth and integrity of self, and life changed gradually. I divorced, started my own business, moved into a new house (twice), and I feel that now I am in a very good place with myself and my life.
The only thing I miss is people.
Most of my old friends fell away, as many relationships with them were karmic and based on past wounds and patterns. My one best friend that remained lives in another country, although we talk daily on Facebook.
My family also is in that country, as I moved here 10 years ago.
Apart from my 6 year old son, I basically have no friends. I know a few people, but no intimate friends to invite to my house for dinner or go out.
After my awakening, I feel difficult to meet like-minded people. There's a group of moms where most of them you can tell have settled in unhappy marriages, then other people at the gym I go that have very big egos, etc.
And I work from home, which makes things even harder.
I recently moved into a house in the countryside and when my son is with his dad, I feel really lonely. It seems I only meet people I connect with online.
I cannot go back to have karmic friendships based on superficiality or interests, etc, but also cannot live isolated.
Any advice? Thank you.  |
I have had the same experience. I was in an auto accident, in which I was nearly killed, and had something similar to a Near-Death Experience (NDE). It has taken me over a decade to make sense of it and integrate the knowledge that came to me during that experience (and has continued to come since), but from the beginning I emerged from it so changed, I had to shed my old life the way a snake sheds its skin. I had to leave virtually everybody from my old life, yet there has not exactly been a rush of volunteers to replace them!
As a result of my experience, I understand that we are all deeply connected, and that it is only superficial, illusory physical-world barriers that keep us apart. I try to acknowledge that connection in the way I treat other people I meet, be it in shops or restaurants, on the bus, or at work. We are all in this together, and some of us have taken on a very difficult challenge in coming here. Some are lost, groping in the darkness, believing they are alone, with no idea who they truly are or why they came here. So I try to treat everyone I encounter as the fellow traveler they are, because I know it makes them feel less isolated and alone, and to a degree it helps me.
Thus, I have a lot of acquaintances who are happy to see me, but this is not the same as true friendship. That has been extremely difficult to come by, even within spiritual communities.
I consider myself fortunate that I am introverted by nature, and am comfortable with extended periods of solitude, but isolation (even self-imposed) isn't actually good for me. I volunteer twice a week for an animal welfare group, and have bonded with staff and other volunteers over the animals we care for and our shared concern for them. However, without the "glue" the animals and our shared mission provide, I don't think very many of those social bonds would survive if I left, despite having volunteered there for over a decade.
Now that I think about it, all of my best friends these days are animals, and they are the ones I have the most emotionally fulfilling relationships with. I like the "difficult" cases, who have behavioral issues others deem intractable, and who were often going to be killed because their previous humans could not tolerate them anymore. I take them home and teach them how to understand and communicate with humans, and to behave in acceptable ways that will get them what they want and need from their next humans. Then there are the "hopeless" cases, and those are the ones I adopt for myself because where else are they going to go? Who else will understand them, and love them, and know how wonderful they are, in spite of their behavior?
So I am a strange, misfit human surrounded by strange, misfit animals, and I do get a great deal of joy and satisfaction out of it. But the feeling that I am perpetually on the wrong side of the glass in human relationships persists, even though I would not go back to my old, pre-awakening life for anything in this world.